So, rumor has it America’s forever crush, Jennifer Aniston, might be dating a hypnotist. Yep, not a Hollywood producer, not a rockstar, not some “wellness entrepreneur” with a man bun. A legit, trance-inducing, “look into my eyes” hypnotist named Jim Curtis. And honestly? We love this energy for her.

But it got us thinking—what would it actually be like to date someone who could literally mess with your mind?

Buckle up, babe. Here are 5 funny (and slightly alarming) things to expect if you ever find yourself under the spell of a hypnotist.

1. Every argument ends with “…and you’re feeling very relaxed now.”
Forget yelling matches or passive-aggressive texts. They’ll just wave a hand and boom—you’re suddenly chill AF and craving chamomile tea. Did you really want to win that fight, or were you just “deeply suggestible”?

2. You’ll constantly wonder if your love is real… or just post-hypnotic suggestion.
Do you like Thai food, or did they implant that craving on date three? Are you in love, or just in a trance? Who knows—but if they’re cooking, does it really matter?

3. Sex? Yeah, it might get weird—in a great way.
We’re not saying they’ll hypnotize you into cosmic-level orgasms… but we’re also not saying they won’t. Just make sure there’s a safe word. Like “pineapple.” Or “Jennifer.”

4. “Date night” might include vision boards, mantras, and that one pendulum they “swear by.”
You thought you were going to see a movie. Instead, you’re in their apartment holding a crystal and confronting your inner child. (Spoiler: your inner child wants snacks.)

5. You’ll never win at rock-paper-scissors again.
Or poker. Or “What do you want for dinner?” Because somehow, they always knew what you were going to pick. It’s not cheating. It’s… intuitive influence.

So go ahead, take a cue from Jen and give your subconscious a little romance. Just don’t be surprised if you wake up one day madly in love… and with an uncontrollable urge to cluck like a chicken every time someone says “commitment.”

Stay sexy, stay safe, and remember: consent—especially mental—is key.