Since April 30th of this year, we’ve been enjoying tearing apart the hilarious and cringe-worthy sex tips of Cosmopolitan magazine every Monday morning. Starting with this gem, all the way to this creepy move (sorry we missed it this week, WordPress was all sorts of janky on Monday), we’ve had our share of SMHs.

And just a couple weeks ago it looks like Jez took a page out of our book and decided to do a little ragging on the women’s mag themselves UPDATE: okay fine, I guess Ben Reininga has been doing it for ages over at Nerve. Whatever. Their list of the 44 most ridiculous sex tips was chock full of doozies, from “tap your guy’s shaft back and forth like a tennis ball” to “chew a small piece of mango… then take him in your mouth. You can use whatever fruit you have, just don’t try anything too acidic, as it can burn him.”

Needless to say, we’re jealous of the arsenal that Ben had to work with, but I guess we’ll just have to up our game next week. Watch out, Ben. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE HIGHLANDER REVIEWER OF TERRIBLE SEX TIPS!