If you’ve been on OBC a while, you might see in some profiles that members mentioning being interested in “CNC”, and wondered, what the heck is that? Well, it’s short for consensual non-consent, although that might not clear it up much more. Here’s more from VICE:

The CNC kink, also known as rape play, is exactly that — one where two or more people agree to a sexual encounter that emulates rape.

Those who practice CNC enjoy different aspects of it, and know it’s not just about physical violence – though that does play a big part in the pleasure of it. It’s about surrendering control for the submissive partner and exerting control for the dominant party, and for both it’s about indulging in something they wouldn’t want to be involved in if they didn’t have a say over the matter.

So, what are the rules to make sure this practice never crosses the line into actual assault? Here’s what one participant says:

Mark stressed the need for both parties to cooperate when it comes to their expectations and agreeing not to engage in non-consensual sexual activity that wasn’t negotiated beforehand. Strict boundaries, he says, are imposed through verbal and non-verbal safe words (like holding up a finger or tapping once to slow down and twice to stop entirely), though he feels that concentrating solely on that whitewashes the experience. “The point of CNC is a way to have those real feelings in a way that is conscious, intentional, and risk aware. It’s sexual extreme sports,” he tells me over Twitter DMs.