Reality TV continues to chase ever more sensational premises. Hulu’s latest—and perhaps oddest—addition is Are You My First?, a dating show that gathers 21 self-identified virgins, ages roughly 23 to 34, and drops them into a tropical resort to date, flirt, and maybe lose their virginity—all under the watchful eyes of Bachelor alums Colton Underwood and Kaitlyn Bristowe Tom’s Guide.

So why does virginity continue to fascinate us enough to turn it into reality TV?

This format—adult virgins as entertainment—does more than pull at our cultural curiosity. Critics note that shows like this tap into a broader societal obsession with virginity. They play on shame, nostalgia, and the uneven ways we—and especially women—are socialized to value firsts as identity-defining moments SELF.

Loaded Expectations Equal Steep Disappointment

The show attempts to tread lightly. It introduces a judgment-free space, with self-declared virgins gradually opening up in emotional conversations, taking part in cheeky challenges (like a “cherry-pop” quiz), or waving hands during the first episode to confirm their status.

Still—calling an elimination a “virgin sacrifice” or using “V-cards” for date invitations underscores how the show packages sexual inexperience as spectacle! That signals danger. When you hype something this heavily—calling it the first time forever—you risk turning a meaningful private milestone into a comedic punch-line or an awkward forced plot point. Heightened expectations almost guarantee disappointment. The irony? It’s rare that anyone’s first time lives up to that perfect, cinematic ideal… especially when cameras are rolling.

Ritualizing Virginity Feels Forced

We’re caught between elevating first-time sex as mystical and then exploiting it for ratings. It’s strange we gift so much significance to an act that, in a healthy perspective, is simply part of human intimacy—but a deeply personal one.

The show sparks discussion: Is virginity a meaningful personal boundary, or a cultural ghost we feed by fetishizing purity? Are You My First? seems to do both—acknowledge emotional complexity yet reduce it to tidy reality-TV beats.

An Invitation to a Different In-Between

We believe there’s a better way to be curious, playful, and intentional with intimacy—without the microscope or the performance.

If you’re tired of cultural pressure around “firsts,” join OBC—a space designed to explore the fun side of intimacy and dating, free from judgment or “virginity drama.” No forced declarations. No pressure. Just authentic connection, playful curiosity, and self-exploration.

Ready to talk about what you want, rather than what you should want? Join OBC today—because exploring intimacy can (and should! ) be fun, messy, and entirely yours.