After watching shows like Cops, and seeing and hearing about the horrific crimes that happen on a daily basis, it’s really no wonder why many cops are such a**holes. They perform a thankless task and risk their lives day in and day out, for little recognition and the joy of driving an ugly Crown Victoria. On top of that they have to hear songs on the radio like “F*** The Police” right as they are about to arrest a man for beating his wife and kid and just think, “I hate my life. I’m going to go pull someone over for doing 67 in a 65.”

But at the same time, when you get to arrest someone for the crime above, you’d think you’d be set on laughs for at LEAST a year, right? Like, a guy hit a woman in the face with a pool noodle full of water because she kept moving a watermelon shaped like a head into the ocean. I MEAN WHAT? WHAT?! Oh, and by the way – this happened in Florida, which as we know is the world’s hub of dumb criminals, so this is probably a daily occurance.

This has to be almost as good as arresting a guy high on bath salts for raping a goat while wearing women’s underwear, right? Come on, cops, cheer up! Us normal people NEVER get to experience this kind of hilarity!