After a long week of “he said” “she said” “his rep denies” “Mario Lopez confirms,” we finally have the verdict: Eva Longoria, sexy Latina star of Desperate Housewives, and Tony Parker, her NBA husband of seven years, are splitting. According to sources, Eva found out that Tony had been exchanging racy text messages with teammate Brent Barry’s wife. “Hundreds a month, for almost a year” seems to be the consensus, although some reports indicate that there may have been an actual physical relationship between the two.

Eva, best known for her ‘Housewife’ role and hosting award shows with no pants on, went on record saying,

“It is with great sadness that after 7 years together, Tony and I have decided to divorce. We love each other deeply and pray for each others happiness.”

7 years is like, 40 in celebrity years, right? So let’s just all decide that the two had a great run that was ended cause some dude couldn’t keep his digital-peen away from married women.  However, we can see mistakes from both sides:

Tony: Obviously: don’t get married, dude, if you can’t commit. There is a binding contract that goes into effect once you get married that, if broken, could ruin your life. Just don’t get married if you’re not ready to (BCU is right here waiting for you).

Eva: You’re gorgeous. No one can deny that. You’ve got a smokin’ bod and a great face and work on a show that is 99.9% about sex. So maybe, just maybe on your off-time, when you’re doing things like hosting award shows, PUT SOME F*CKING CLOTHES ON. We’re all glad you don’t mind showing us your ass, but the man you committed your life too might feel a little… overwhelmed. Slow your roll and maybe your hubs won’t need to find solace elsewhere.

Anyway – reason #55,603 that you should stay single: your divorce could be more public than your marriage. Eek.

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