We’ve discussed in the past the fact that Florida is kind of an icky place. From their psychotic jilted husbands to their totally unreasonable laws to their public brawls, it seems like there is just something in the water that is making the people of Florida into total nutjobs. And after the most recent news of the bath-salts cannibal, I feel as though we finally have enough evidence to eject Florida from the Union and maybe somehow push the state into the ocean so they can float around the Atlantic until everyone dies off. Survival of the fittest, you know?

Oh, but just in case you were thinking, “no, come on, everyone in Florida can’t be that bad, it’s just that we always HEAR about the awful ones,” then I present to you this video of two Starbucks-slurping skanks who stole money from GIRL SCOUTS. Observe the lack of remorse and TRY to tell me we should work on that pushing-Florida-into-the-ocean thing. Just TRY.