AskMen’s annual Great Male Survey came out this week, and it is just full of interesting facts. Many sites are just looking at this year’s results and making assumptions based on those, but we are hard-hitting journalists here at BCU and we don’t half-ass things like other websites (false: we usually half-ass things). So we decided to go the distance this year and dig up the information from last year’s survey for comparison, which was extremely difficult (false: we just Googled it).

Here are some very poignant facts we’d like to point out. AHEM.

1) Less men are falling into the marriage trap

Last year, 75% of men said they would get married, because they believe in the institution and want to preserve their family line. This year, that number dropped to 67%, which, using our engineering class math skills, is like, 8…ish%? Needless to say, congrats, guys, we’re glad watching reruns of Jon and Kate Plus 8 did you at least one favor.

2) Less dudes are getting laid

HEY GUYS, TIME TO MAN UP. Compared to last years 17%, this years survey showed that 25% (THAT IS A QUARTER OF YOU) of guys “have no sex life.” We have no words to even discuss this with you. Men — What are you doing wrong?! And women — come on, give it up.

3) Men still have penis-self-esteem problems

Aw, booo!  When did you boys become like middle-schoolers in training bras? Don’t be self conscious! Last year, 56% of you said you’d make your penis bigger, and apparently this year you feel the same, with 32% saying you’d make it bigger to feel better about yourself, and 22% to pleasure your partner more. How many times do we have to tell you it’s the not the size of the prize it’s the motion of the ocean?!

4) More of you are trying to bone your coworkers

Hey! Keep your pen out of the company ink for the hundredth time! Even though apparently you’re all still failing at it, the survey shows that this year 52% of you would try and sleep with a coworker if the situation arose, compared to only 46% last year. Eyes up, gentlemen, she’s your secretary, not your mistress!

5) You’re being more open about your fantasies

While we’re glad you might be keeping that “turned on by 1975 VW bugs” thing a secret, we’re glad that this year, more of you are being open about your fantasies. Compared to last year, when a whole 57% of you said your partners didnt’ know your fantasies, this years 45%: “Yes, but only some of them” and 13% “Yes, all of them” is a good sign that you’re willing to let us in on your dirty little secrets.

Thanks, AskMen, for giving the ladies some insight!