Let’s talk about a species we’ve all unfortunately encountered at some point in the wilds of modern dating: the man-child.

You know the type. He’s pushing 30 (or 40…), but his emotional maturity is still parked at sophomore year. He might be charming at first—maybe even fun! But soon you’re realizing you’re not dating a partner. You’re dating… a dependent. And guess what? You didn’t sign up to be someone’s mom-therapist-maid hybrid.

So how do you dodge the man-child trap before you’re elbow-deep in laundry he never learned to do? Here’s your guide:

Red Flags to Watch For

1. He thinks “adulting” is optional.
If paying bills, doing dishes, or showing up on time makes him feel personally attacked, run.

2. He calls his exes “crazy”… all of them.
If every woman before you was the problem, spoiler: the problem is him.

3. He’s got Peter Pan syndrome.
Still dreaming of being a rockstar, lives with roommates named “Thrasher” and “Goose,” and has no long-term plan beyond next weekend’s concert? Not it.

4. His emotional range is limited to “hungry” and “horny.”
If he shuts down the second things get serious or expects you to do all the emotional labor, you’re not in a relationship—you’re in a therapy internship.

5. He needs “saving.” Constantly.
Bad boss, no money, roommate drama, existential crisis about becoming 30… again. You deserve a partner, not a project.

But What Does a Real Grown-Up Look Like?

They don’t have to be in a three-piece suit with a 401(k) and an espresso machine (though, yum). But a mature partner:

• Takes accountability

• Knows how to communicate (without sulking or ghosting)

• Respects your time

• Knows how to do their own laundry (yes, still important)

If he says, “I’m just looking for someone to take care of me,” believe him—and exit stage left.

But don’t worry. There are actual adults out there looking for real connections. People who don’t need you to raise them, rescue them, or teach them how to talk about their feelings like a functioning human.

And we’ve got plenty of them waiting for you on OBC.

So what are you waiting for?
Join OBC today—and leave the boys behind. Grown folks only.