Next up in our series of rides-that-might-not-kill-you-but-will-definitely-render-you-paralyzed, we have The Human Slingshot, a homemade set up in Paradise, Utah in a lake OR SHOULD I SAY MINIATURE 150 ft POND. According to the cameraman of this video*, three people passed out upon impact, so “don’t try this at home.” Oh, DARN. You mean I can’t tie a bungee cord to an F-150 and fling teenagers 130 feet into a shallow pool of water in the middle of a desert away from any sort of medical personnel? WHAT A DRAG.

To be fair, the actual slip-n-slide does look pretty fun:

* – this video is a bit… much, wouldn’t you say? I mean the giggly blonde 15-year-old girls pouring water on each other and blowing kisses to the camera, and the rambunctious teen boys “partying” super hard, and the shaky camera and the THREE AND A HALF MINUTES OF THE SAME THING? Give it a break, kid.