Somewhere, in a world where friendship is measured not by how often you text back but by how enthusiastically your bestie endorses your romantic chaos, Rob Gronkowski is doing the Lord’s work.

Because when Tom Brady—fresh off a divorce, a rumored situationship with Alix Earle, and what appears to be a full-blown Renaissance Tour of Eligible Bachelorhood—needed guidance, Gronk didn’t clutch pearls. He didn’t suggest journaling. He didn’t even say “maybe take some time for yourself.” No. He looked his friend dead in the eye (probably while shirtless, let’s be honest) and essentially said: king, you are on a hot streak.  

May we all have a friend like that.

Because there are two types of friends in this world: the ones who hand you herbal tea and say “heal,” and the ones who hand you a metaphorical VIP wristband and say “text him back, but make it mysterious.” Gronk, a man in a long-term relationship himself (which makes this even funnier), has chosen to be the latter. He is not here to dim your light. He is here to amplify your chaos—respectfully, supportively, and with the confidence of someone who believes your dating life should be approached with the same intensity as a Super Bowl run. 

Let’s be clear: this is not about reckless decision-making. This is about having a hype man for your ho era. A trusted advisor who says “follow your heart” but means “follow your heart… straight to that questionable afterparty.” A ride-or-die who understands that sometimes personal growth looks less like meditation and more like accidentally ending up in St. Barths with a 25-year-old influencer and a suspicious number of paparazzi photos.  

And frankly, after years of being the most disciplined human to ever hydrate, maybe this is exactly the arc we want for Tom. The TB12 Method walked so the TB-Hinge Era could run. Evolution is beautiful.

So here’s to Gronk. Patron saint of “text him.” Defender of hot streaks. The kind of friend who won’t just help you pick up the pieces—but will also encourage you to create a few more, just for the plot.

May we all be so lucky.