It’s officially December, an in another era, one in which we are not constantly wondering if our neighbors and friends and the sexy barista at the coffee shop are riddled with contagious diseases, singles would be on the hunt for their cuffing season boo.

And according to Chipotle and Uber Eats, no pandemic can stop couples from temporarily shacking up, as they’ve developed a “cuffing season” menu, which is both brilliant and depressing. Via Insider:

On Thursday, Chipotle and Uber Eats introduced a new ploy to entice customers: the “Cuffing Season Menu.” 

Its name is a nod to the longstanding term for snagging a sexual partner to keep you warm through freezing winter months.

The menu itself includes three options: the “day date,” (two entreés and chips and salsa); the “date night,” (two entreés, chips and queso or guacamole and two “tractor” beverages); and the grandaddy of them all, the “Hinge date,” which suggests you both share one entreé, chips and salsa, and one single “tractor” beverage. (This, presumably, happens after you both decide to venture into each other’s COVID-19 pods.)

I mean, all that sounds delicious, but who wants to get sweaty and sexy after eating an order of queso followed by Chipotle-sized burrito?!!! No THANKS.