Happy Fat Tuesday, BCU readers! Break out your beads, gentlemen, because Mardi Gras, code word for indulgence, is finally here. San Diego’s celebration is set to tear up the streets of the Gaslamp, but before heading out to make a fools of ourselves, we figured we’d set some groundrules. Here are BCU’s Mardi Gras regulations.

1. DO train before the big day.

Although a week long detox in preparation may sound like a good idea, you have to compare your liver to your stomach for this event- you can’t let it get lazy and/or shrink. Prepare by drinking copious amounts of liquor in the days preceding Fat Tuesday, so you can get used to the inevitable wrath of the spins and mind-numbing hangovers.

2. DON’T pee on the streets.

Maybe back in the early 1980s this was considered a funny, celebratory aspect of Mardi Gras. However, with stringent new laws on “exposing yourself,” peeing on the street will only lead to either an expensive citation or a one way ticket out of the party. Find a bathroom, you streetrat.

3.  DO dress the part.

If you show up in something boring, say a suit, or any type of pant with the word “cargo” in the name, you will feel out of place, if not flat out ashamed. This is the one day out of the year that it is okay to rock a sparkly mask and crazy shirt. If you’re planning to get lucky, though, keep the glitter to your mask. Your shirt should not shine.

4. DON’T yell “show us your boobs!” anywhere outside the party.

At least in San Diego, Mardi Gras is confined to an 8 block radius, presumably to keep the booze-fueled miscreants away from the general public. Once you leave the gates of the party though, pull your self-control out back out of your ass and do NOT shout that refrain at elderly French-Catholic women out for dinner. However, on that note…

5. Ladies, DO take all degrading shouts with a grain of salt.

On Fat Tuesday, you will likely witness the most disturbing acts of male debauchery that you have or will ever see. But let’s be honest, this holiday has evolved from a religious tradition into a holiday based on giving women plastic beads to expose themselves. This is the one day this happens (assuming you don’t spend spring break in Mexico), so just drop it. Don’t flash dudes if you don’t want, but don’t complain. It’s not worth it.

You’ve got less than 5 hours to gear up for this day of ultimate debauchery. Get to the bar and gimme 20 (shots)!