SPEAKING OF PENISES AND THINGS THAT MAKE THEM HAPPY, here is great news from GQ magazine: Mila Kunis, your favorite actress, cartoon voice, and smokin’ hot Russian-speaking bombshell has been named the men’s mag’s number one knockout of the year, and we COULDN’T AGREE MORE.

But just when you thought the Black Swan star couldn’t become MORE of your dream booty call (especially after her turn in the ultimate booty call movie Friends With Benefits), you read this story from her GQ interview, wherein her interviewer shows up sick and she takes VERY good care of him:

She hands me a Grgich Hills Cabernet Franc (retail $50) to open, then sniffs the bottle and declares it “perfect for boiling.” Into the saucepan it goes, followed by an avalanche of green-tea powder (“It’s vitamins!”), two gelcaps of fish oil (“What’s the difference? It’s all going to end up liquefied and syrupy”), apple-cider vinegar (“‘Cause that’s just always good for you”), and Ayurvedic chai. “See,” she says, “at least I didn’t give you the women’s bone vitamin.” The result is a kind of glogg from hell. For a moment, we both admire the roiling potion. The melted gelcaps have coated the saucepan’s bottom, while the released fish oil blots the surface. [Then] Kunis upends half a bottle of Ketel One into the mix. “There. Healthy! This will kill everything.”

Are you in love yet? I’M IN LOVE.

Check out this month’s GQ for more heart-pounding photos of the hottest thing to come out of the Ukraine since, um… anything?