Crazy, insane, mind-blowing fact! Did you know (okay seriously, prepare yourself, this is a doozy) that there are people who still wait for marriage to have sex?!!! I KNOWWWWW IT’S CRAZY. To be fair, it’s only 3% of Americans, according to a pro-abstinence website (and we’re like, the most conservative nation ever), but still – there are folks like the Duggar colony who even wait to KISS until marriage. That right there is just depressing. I mean, what if you get married to someone and only then realize you are REALLY into bondage, and they refuse to do anything but missionary?! WHAT A NIGHTMARE!

But on the other side of the marriage statistic coin is kind of HILARIOUS – that as few as QUARTER of married couples ever get around to doin’ the deed on the night of their wedding. Via Jezebel:

Via Jezebel:

A recent survey from a wedding stationary company Paper Shaker claims a quarter of couples don’t do it. A few years ago, the Daily Telegraph covered a survey by Bride to Be magazine, which found that 90% of couples expect to do the deed, but only a quarter see their dreams realized. The Daily Mail, who may or may not be forever a bridesmaid, insists that over half of couples (from a survey double the size of the previous) don’t make it official by ancient religious standards on the wedding night.

The biggest reason? Drunk dick.

Yep, that’s right – apparently all those shots of JD with your groomsmen and glugs of cheap champagne to get through your drunk racist uncle’s toast don’t bode well for a night of passionate, romantic love-making with your “soul mate.”

And that, everyone, is why you have rampant, wild, crazy casual sex until you get married – cause if you got whiskey dick on the first night that you and your lifemate were set to consummate the relationship, well THAT can’t be a good sign for your future, now can it?