From the studio that brought you “Running of the Bulls: Still Dangerous”, comes another tale of  Obviously Obvious News: starring OLD DUDES and SEX! This winter comes:

OLD MEN ARE STILL INTERESTED IN SEX: A STORY OF DUH and NO DUH and OBVIOUSLY

According to an Australian study, old (and I mean OLDER, like zombie Larry King in a hospice old, like Wilford Brimley diabeetus commercial old) men are  still interested in sex. They found that between the ages of 90 and 95, 1/5 of men still considered sex to be at least somewhat important in their life. Of those who were sexually active, 40% of them said that they’d prefer MORE sex, which, while very much obvious is also super gross and makes me want to barf. Apparently most of the old dudes aren’t gettin’ all the poon they want though, because while 48% said sex was important, only 30% reported any type of sexual activity in the past year.

Thank you, most-likely-very-expensive Australian study, good to know. I totally couldn’t have figured that out based on how many times I’ve seen creepy old dudes diddle themselves on the trolley. Seriously that thing’s gotta be COVERED in old, cobwebby, oatmeal-textured semen. Excuse me while I go vomit up my breakfast.