There are great headlines, and there are awesome headlines. And although the above headline is unfortunate in that it announces a human being’s death, I’m sure if the situation were reversed he’d be laughing at this too:

I mean, come on, right? That is HILARIOUS.

The story itself, doesn’t get any more normal – according to NBC, Sam Mazzola was an exotic animal owner who kept his “pets” at his home just south of Cleveland, Ohio. He made headlines last year for a much less funny reason – one of his bears mauled a 24 year old trainer to death when she entered his enclosure to feed him.

Along with being an exotic animal collector, he seems to have other hobbies, including partaking in some pretty kinky sex stuff with the help of an “assistant”. Apparently, when his body was found, he not only had a sex toy lodged in his throat, but was also wearing “a leather mask with the eyes and mouth zipped shut and a two-piece metal sphere covering his head.” Day-umn.

Although the assistant in the activity is being questioned, police are calling his death accidental. So what have we learned, kids? Never attempt to own wild animals, and ALWAYS HAVE A SAFE WORD (and a partner).

Found via FilmDrunk