The holidays are here, which means lots of vacationing and staying at family and friends’ homes. So we appreciate any time someone gives advice on how to ensure you can still get some steamy between- the-sheets action even when not in the comfort of your own home. However, this tip, shared on The Cut, may be the most horrifying way we could think of.

If you are staying at someone’s house over the holidays and need to avoid certain seminal evidence, make the easiest masturbator ever by filling a plastic sandwich bag with lube. Put a sock around it for a better grip and stroke up and down your partner’s penis while they rub you. Afterward, seal it up then hide the living hell out of that baggie.

While the whole tip is obviously WTF-worthy, the last part is clearly the strangest, as detailed by The Cut:

But the part of the tip that’s most perplexing is the last step, which instructs the hand-job giver to “hide the living hell out of that baggie.” Why not say “push it to the bottom of a deep trash can?” Because it does not explicitly propose that one throw away the cum- and lube-filled sandwich bag, it brings to mind the image of someonesurreptitiously sneaking out,carrying a slimy bag, to a hole they’d pre-dug in their aunt’s backyard, where they will bury it deep under the earth.

Seriously Cosmo, W. T. F.