We’ve talked before about being careful with the things you decide to “fool around with”, and highly recommend you choose something specifically created for that use (flared ends, people!). However, it seems no one is taking that advice, because VICE is back with more stories of the weird, the gross, and the downright DANGEROUS things people have been shoving up their asses before ending up at the ER.

Here are a few, from ONE Pakistani doctor:

“Long cylindrical objects for anal stimulation such as flashlights, steel or iron rods, knitting needles, dildos, vibrators, and most commonly, beverage bottles. Objects of the vegetable variety include carrots, radishes and cucumbers.”

“Other reported objects include pieces of wood, stones, ladles, metal cups, toothbrushes, bathroom brush handles, shards of glass and, in one case, even a knife. In cases involving items used for sexual arousal through the urethra, pens, metal wires, headless nails, thermometers and bobby pins have been reported.” (HOLY SH*T!!!!!)

“Objects found included a spray can, a candle, a plastic toothbrush case, beverage bottles, and batteries. “

Y’all. Let’s treat our bodies with respect. Only jam things up there that aren’t gonna get STUCK, or worse, “perforate the bowel”. Yikes.