Every once in a while, we at the BCU offices take a moment to reflect over the past few weeks. We think about all the interesting and intriguing things we’ve seen, from videos of guys sticking quarters in their belly buttons, to important news about the current state of young adult relationships, to awesome photos of women clinging to their celebrity by simulating manual stimulation.

However, it’s within the depths of the blog interface where we find the REAL weird stuff, specifically the search terms used to find BCU in the first place. They are usually run-of-the-mill “booty call,” “pick up lines,” “Rachel McAdams’ booty,” etc. However, every once in a while we get some… rather interesting ones…

1) “5 star granny porn”

Um, okay. Sure. Look, to each his own, right? As long as it’s legal, we have no right to judge what turns you on. And hey – if that’s old lady porn then more power to you. My question lies in the very specific nature of the granny porn they are looking for. 5 star? What makes porn 5 star? Is that quality or quantity? Or is it level of kinkiness? And is this out of 5 or ten? Because if it’s five AND it’s kinkiness level AND we’re still talking about elderly women then I’m sorry but NO THANK YOU.

2) “Cat penis”

For the sake of my sanity, I am going to pretend that this was an unfortunate combination of a high-school biology student doing research and my penchant for using the term CAT PENIS in posts about completely irrelevant things. If this was actually someone looking for like, cat porn or cat masturbation videos or whatever, I am going to crawl into a hole and cry myself to sleep. GROSS, GUYS.

3) “Homoerotic book covers”

This one makes me laugh because my initial reaction to seeing it in the search terms list was, “WTF, WHY WOULD THAT LEAD TO BCU?!” And then I remembered this post, which is one of my favorites of all time. I hope whoever was searching for it enjoyed their pictures of Gay Hulk and Little Lulu getting frisky.

4) “What makes me have a foot fetish?“

Good question, whoever asked this! As you know, we are all as unique as snowflakes falling from a winter sky (PS- it’s still 75 in San Diego, just FYI). We have different irises, different thumbprints and 100% completely different DNA. So, naturally, we all have different sexual desires. Some people enjoy role play or S&M or spraying Kraft EZ Cheese all over their partner’s chest.

Of course, then, there would be people who would find beauty and seduction in the shape and contour of the human foot. I mean, sure, on 75% of the population feet are disgusting, but hey! Whatever floats your boat. And guess what, you’re not alone! in fact you are in great company: Recently defeated Jets coach Rex Ryan and his wife seem to partake in some foot fetish-y goodness, enough so that they even put it on the WORLD WIDE WEB. It’s okay, little one. It’s perfectly normal. Ish.

5) “Real men don’t view porn”

FALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSE.