We’ve all had bad breakups. From breakups via text or straight up being ghosted, each and everyone of us has a story that’s like “EESH, no fun.” But these? Well, these stories via Reddit might be the worst breakup stories ever.

“Mine started making out with another girl while we were at a party, all sitting on the same couch. That deflates the romance pretty quickly.”

“Calling the day after my birthday (we had been long distance). She said she didn’t love me anymore, she was sleeping with someone else, and I should get tested (the last time I visited her was months before). I tested positive for chlamydia.”

“A woman broke up with me by changing her Facebook status to single. In her defense, we had a fight over the phone that morning, but I didn’t think it was such a big deal. The nice thing about finding out that way was, at least, that I didn’t have to deal with the sort of person who breaks up with someone by changing their Facebook status anymore.”

“By purposely ruining the relationship until your significant other breaks up with you so you don’t seem like the bad guy.”

“I walked off a plane once…we were on a trip to the UK…I said fuck my baggage and just declined to travel another foot with her.”

“Dude broke up with me in counseling by telling the counselor. This was supposed to be premarital counseling. Duuuuuuuuuuuddde.”

And by FAR the funniest/worst one:

“Having someone tell them you died. I thought it’d be easier because she lived in another town, and we didn’t really run in the same circles. It ended up being a nightmare that was far from easy. It dragged on for days, and she found out I was alive anyway. Honesty is the best policy.”

Dang dude – she’s so bad you FAKED YOUR DEATH?