{"id":11134,"date":"2011-07-18T13:00:09","date_gmt":"2011-07-18T20:00:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/?p=11134"},"modified":"2011-07-18T11:56:05","modified_gmt":"2011-07-18T18:56:05","slug":"owner-of-killer-bear-chokes-to-death-on-sex-toy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/owner-of-killer-bear-chokes-to-death-on-sex-toy\/","title":{"rendered":"Owner of Killer Bear Chokes To Death on Sex Toy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>There are great headlines, and there are awesome headlines. And although the above headline is unfortunate in that it announces a human being&#8217;s death, I&#8217;m sure if the situation were reversed he&#8217;d be laughing at this too:<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-11136\" title=\"headline\" src=\"http:\/\/bcu2-shared.onlinebootycall.com.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/headline.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"639\" height=\"147\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/headline.jpg 639w, https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/headline-300x69.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 639px) 100vw, 639px\" \/>I mean, come on, right? That is HILARIOUS.<\/p>\n<p>The story itself, doesn&#8217;t get any more normal &#8211; according to NBC, Sam Mazzola was an exotic animal owner who kept his &#8220;pets&#8221; at his home just south of Cleveland, Ohio. He made headlines last year for a much less funny reason &#8211; one of his bears mauled a 24 year old trainer to death when she entered his enclosure to feed him.<\/p>\n<p>Along with being an exotic animal collector, he seems to have other hobbies, including partaking in some pretty kinky sex stuff with the help of an &#8220;assistant&#8221;. Apparently, when his body was found, he not only had a sex toy lodged in his throat, but was also wearing &#8220;a leather mask with the eyes and mouth zipped shut and a two-piece metal sphere covering his head.&#8221; Day-umn.<\/p>\n<p>Although the assistant in the activity is being questioned, police are calling his death accidental. So what have we learned, kids? Never attempt to own wild animals, and ALWAYS HAVE A SAFE WORD (and a partner).<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/filmdrunk.uproxx.com\/2011\/07\/the-best-headline-of-all-time-and-morning-links\" target=\"_blank\">Found via FilmDrunk<\/a><\/p>\n<!--themify_builder_content-->\n<div id=\"themify_builder_content-11134\" data-postid=\"11134\" class=\"themify_builder_content themify_builder_content-11134 themify_builder tf_clear\">\n    <\/div>\n<!--\/themify_builder_content-->\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There are great headlines, and there are awesome headlines. And although the above headline is unfortunate in that it announces a human being&#8217;s death, I&#8217;m sure if the situation were reversed he&#8217;d be laughing at this too: I mean, come on, right? That is HILARIOUS. The story itself, doesn&#8217;t get any more normal &#8211; according [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3996],"tags":[6341,6340,6344,11794,6343,2726,6342],"class_list":["post-11134","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-headlines-dating-news","tag-kinky-sex","tag-owner-of-killer-bear-chokes-to-death-on-sex-toy","tag-sam-mazzola","tag-stories","tag-weird-headlines","tag-weird-news","tag-wtf-headlines","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11134"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11134"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11134\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11138,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11134\/revisions\/11138"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11134"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11134"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11134"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}