{"id":11418,"date":"2011-08-04T09:30:27","date_gmt":"2011-08-04T16:30:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/?p=11418"},"modified":"2011-08-03T15:32:48","modified_gmt":"2011-08-03T22:32:48","slug":"hugh-hefner-planking","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/hugh-hefner-planking\/","title":{"rendered":"Hugh Hefner Planking"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-11424\" title=\"hef\" src=\"http:\/\/bcu2-shared.onlinebootycall.com.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/hef.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"468\" height=\"371\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/hef.jpg 468w, https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/hef-300x237.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 468px) 100vw, 468px\" \/>I feel like this is not funny. This is like when you were 10 and your mom told you to <em>MAKE SURE you bring your rollerblades in the house when you&#8217;re done with them because this isn&#8217;t the greatest neighborhood, Nicole, and someone might steal them<\/em>,\u00a0 but one day you forget and she sees them out on the lawn so she hides them in a closet and then says, &#8220;where are your rollerblades?&#8221; and then you spend like 2 hours scouring the neighborhood and praying to Jesus that you<em> promise <\/em>you&#8217;ll be nice to your little brother for the<em> rest of your life <\/em>if He just helps you find your rollerblades and then your mom comes into the garage as you&#8217;re crying to yourself and says &#8220;are these what you&#8217;re looking for?&#8221; while dangling your rollerblades with a conniving face, and you&#8217;re <em>SO<\/em> relieved but also <em>SO <\/em>furious at your mother for messing with your emotions like that.<\/p>\n<p>How the F*CK is a photo of Hugh Hefner planking anything like that, you ask?<\/p>\n<p><strong>BECAUSE THE MAN IS 200 YEARS OLD AND LAYING FACE DOWN ON A COFFEE TABLE IS HOW OLD MEN DIE, THAT&#8217;S HOW.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t play tricks on me like that, Hef. I can see the outline of your Depends. You are CLEARLY too old to be planking.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.dailymail.co.uk\/tvshowbiz\/article-2021824\/Hugh-Hefner-planking-Playboy-mansion-dining-room-table.html\" target=\"_blank\">Via TheDailyMail<\/a><\/p>\n<!--themify_builder_content-->\n<div id=\"themify_builder_content-11418\" data-postid=\"11418\" class=\"themify_builder_content themify_builder_content-11418 themify_builder tf_clear\">\n    <\/div>\n<!--\/themify_builder_content-->\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I feel like this is not funny. This is like when you were 10 and your mom told you to MAKE SURE you bring your rollerblades in the house when you&#8217;re done with them because this isn&#8217;t the greatest neighborhood, Nicole, and someone might steal them,\u00a0 but one day you forget and she sees them [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3638],"tags":[205,6533,6532,6264,108,1617,2404,489],"class_list":["post-11418","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-celebrity-gossip","tag-celebrities","tag-hugh-hefner-dead-on-table","tag-hugh-hefner-planking","tag-planking","tag-playboy","tag-scary","tag-wtf","tag-yikes","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11418"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11418"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11418\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11426,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11418\/revisions\/11426"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11418"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11418"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11418"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}