{"id":12576,"date":"2011-11-03T09:30:34","date_gmt":"2011-11-03T16:30:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/?p=12576"},"modified":"2011-11-02T14:11:26","modified_gmt":"2011-11-02T21:11:26","slug":"snakes-in-an-atm","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/snakes-in-an-atm\/","title":{"rendered":"Snakes in an ATM"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>GET IT? <em>SNAKES ON A PLANE<\/em> REFERENCE! You know how jokes about movies that are 5 years old are great and always funny, right? They are always funny! HAHA! Wait what? What&#8217;s that? Am I in an oddly good mood? Uh, no! Not that I know of! I mean, it&#8217;s not like anything exciting is happening today SUCH AS MY BIRTHDAY OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT so why would I be in a great mood?! EXACTLY! NO REASON!<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, in honor of a person WHOSE BIRTHDAY IT IS NOT, a person who is terrified of elevators and the bowling ball return machine and go carts and shopping carts, here is a video to remind you that there is something else to be terrified of: ATMs. Before today you may have thought that they were just simple little machines that spat money out at you, but it turns out they are actually monster-harboring death traps that want to kill you just like everything else in this god-forsaken world.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/ElJQJZtY8WI?feature=player_embedded\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Horrible, right? Don&#8217;t worry. I&#8217;ve got a palate cleanser:<\/p>\n<p><object style=\"height: 390px; width: 640px\"><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/w9Q2wQ0vxwk?version=3&#038;feature=player_embedded\"><\/param><param name=\"allowFullScreen\" value=\"true\"><\/param><param name=\"allowScriptAccess\" value=\"always\"><embed src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/w9Q2wQ0vxwk?version=3&#038;feature=player_embedded\" type=\"application\/x-shockwave-flash\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" allowScriptAccess=\"always\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\"><\/embed><\/param><\/object><\/p>\n<p><strong>HAPPY NOT MY BIRTHDAY, EVERYONE!<\/strong> Have a great day!<\/p>\n<!--themify_builder_content-->\n<div id=\"themify_builder_content-12576\" data-postid=\"12576\" class=\"themify_builder_content themify_builder_content-12576 themify_builder tf_clear\">\n    <\/div>\n<!--\/themify_builder_content-->\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>GET IT? SNAKES ON A PLANE REFERENCE! You know how jokes about movies that are 5 years old are great and always funny, right? They are always funny! HAHA! Wait what? What&#8217;s that? Am I in an oddly good mood? Uh, no! Not that I know of! I mean, it&#8217;s not like anything exciting is [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3995],"tags":[7321,2877,7322,7323,6728,7324,7325,2404],"class_list":["post-12576","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-wtf-dating-news","tag-atm-snake","tag-evil","tag-guy-finds-snake-in-atm","tag-happy-birthday","tag-snake","tag-snake-attack","tag-things-to-be-scared-of","tag-wtf","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12576"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12576"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12576\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12580,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12576\/revisions\/12580"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12576"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12576"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12576"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}