{"id":13212,"date":"2012-01-06T15:30:49","date_gmt":"2012-01-06T22:30:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/?p=13212"},"modified":"2012-01-06T09:54:53","modified_gmt":"2012-01-06T16:54:53","slug":"dumb-criminal-alert-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/dumb-criminal-alert-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Dumb Criminal Alert"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>You know how sometimes you&#8217;re at a concert for a band or musical group you really like, and the curtain raises and BOOM, they start playing your favorite song? And you&#8217;re like <em>YEEEEAHHHH I LOVE THIS SONG <\/em>but then you&#8217;re like<em> DAMN, NOW I&#8217;M NOT EXCITED FOR ANYTHING. <\/em>That&#8217;s how I feel about this Dumb Criminal Alert; this might actually be the best one all year and it came within the first week? I CALL BULLSH*T. Whatever. Let&#8217;s meet Edward Brown, shall we?<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-13220\" title=\"edwardbrown\" src=\"http:\/\/bcu2-shared.onlinebootycall.com.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/edwardbrown.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"418\" height=\"476\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/edwardbrown.jpg 418w, https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/edwardbrown-263x300.jpg 263w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 418px) 100vw, 418px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Edward Brown is the Stonge-Henge-mouthed gentleman in the photo above. He was arrested last week (Christmas week, in case you forgot) in a Chicago movie theater for exposing himself to the audience, and was charged with sexual exploitation of a child and misdemeanor disorderly conduct. The movie? <em>Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked<\/em>. The audience? About 95 people, <strong>mostly children.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>According to witnesses, Brown stood up in the middle of the theater, stripped naked, and paraded around in front of the audience, before sitting back down in a seat&#8230; still naked. Police were called and the audience was evacuated (for a natural disaster involving balls) and Brown was arrested. But that&#8217;s not even the best part. When Brown was asked why he&#8217;d do something so foul in front of a bunch of children, he responded that<strong> a woman had promised him sex and crack if he sat in the front row of the movie theater and took off his clothes.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>And now I&#8217;ll sit here for the rest of the year, disappointed in the rest of the show.<\/p>\n<!--themify_builder_content-->\n<div id=\"themify_builder_content-13212\" data-postid=\"13212\" class=\"themify_builder_content themify_builder_content-13212 themify_builder tf_clear\">\n    <\/div>\n<!--\/themify_builder_content-->\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You know how sometimes you&#8217;re at a concert for a band or musical group you really like, and the curtain raises and BOOM, they start playing your favorite song? And you&#8217;re like YEEEEAHHHH I LOVE THIS SONG but then you&#8217;re like DAMN, NOW I&#8217;M NOT EXCITED FOR ANYTHING. That&#8217;s how I feel about this Dumb [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3995],"tags":[7680,7677,3268,7678,7679,1024,2404],"class_list":["post-13212","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-wtf-dating-news","tag-alvin-and-the-chipmunks-chipwrecked","tag-edward-brown","tag-headlines","tag-man-exposes-himself-to-movie-theater-audience","tag-man-takes-off-clothes-in-movie-theater","tag-news","tag-wtf","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13212"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13212"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13212\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13222,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13212\/revisions\/13222"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13212"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13212"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13212"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}