{"id":13461,"date":"2012-02-01T11:15:23","date_gmt":"2012-02-01T18:15:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/?p=13461"},"modified":"2012-02-01T10:07:31","modified_gmt":"2012-02-01T17:07:31","slug":"snooki-is-pregnant-end-of-world-likely","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/snooki-is-pregnant-end-of-world-likely\/","title":{"rendered":"Snooki is Pregnant, End of World Likely"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/bcu2-shared.onlinebootycall.com.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/snooki-pregs-inf-post.jpg\"\/><\/center><br \/>\nI remember explaining to my little brother when he was about 8 years old that the world wasn&#8217;t always a happy place. Bad things just happen, and there is nothing you can do about it, so it&#8217;s important to embrace and really appreciate all the good parts of life, like your family and friends and trips to Disneyland and a surprise snow storm that lets you stay home and watch cartoons all day. I had to tell him this because this kid across the street took his limited edition Charizard Pokemon card and pulled it out of its protective packaging, but I hope that he still remembers that important tidbit of advice now, when he hears this much worse news:<b> Snooki is pregnant. The end of the world is closer than ever.<\/b><\/p>\n<p>According to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.radaronline.com\/exclusives\/2012\/02\/jersey-shore-snooki-pregnant\">Radar Online<\/a>, Snooki, the tiny orange butterball from The Jersey Shore, is secretly with child with her juicehead boyfriend Jionni LaVelle. With recent Tweets like, &#8220;I feel sick,&#8221; and &#8220;late night craving&#8230;&#8221; as well as reports that she has been telling her friends to &#8220;expect a big announcement soon,&#8221; it seems as though Radar might be right on the money with this one.<\/p>\n<p>So, my dear friends and readers, I think it&#8217;s time we stock up on water and canned goods and call our families and tell them we love them, because this is it &#8211; the end of times. I believe I remember reading once in the Bible that the anti-Christ was to be born of a &#8220;drunk, rust colored biscuit&#8221;, and now it&#8217;s all beginning to make sense. All we can do is hold on tight to one another, close our eyes, and hope the end is quick and painless. I love you guys. See you on the other side.<\/p>\n<!--themify_builder_content-->\n<div id=\"themify_builder_content-13461\" data-postid=\"13461\" class=\"themify_builder_content themify_builder_content-13461 themify_builder tf_clear\">\n    <\/div>\n<!--\/themify_builder_content-->\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I remember explaining to my little brother when he was about 8 years old that the world wasn&#8217;t always a happy place. Bad things just happen, and there is nothing you can do about it, so it&#8217;s important to embrace and really appreciate all the good parts of life, like your family and friends and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3638],"tags":[7810,1484,3577,1604,7809,3463,7808,2404],"class_list":["post-13461","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-celebrity-gossip","tag-celebrity-babies","tag-celebrity_gossip","tag-end-of-the-world","tag-jersey-shore","tag-jionni-la-velle","tag-snooki","tag-snooki-pregnant","tag-wtf","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13461"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13461"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13461\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13464,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13461\/revisions\/13464"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13461"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13461"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13461"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}