{"id":13570,"date":"2012-02-10T12:45:34","date_gmt":"2012-02-10T19:45:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/?p=13570"},"modified":"2012-02-10T09:23:22","modified_gmt":"2012-02-10T16:23:22","slug":"kris-jenner-is-selling-lube","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/kris-jenner-is-selling-lube\/","title":{"rendered":"Kris Jenner is Selling Lube"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/bcu2-shared.onlinebootycall.com.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/krisandbruce.jpg\"\/><br \/>\nimg via lisamarksmedia<\/center><br \/>\nThe few times I have seen Keeping Up With the Kardashians, I was struck not only by how self-centered and selfish the daughters were, but also by how weirdly obsessed their mother, Kris Jenner, was with their lives. I know she is a &#8220;momager,&#8221; and it&#8217;s actually her job to be almost creepily involved with their every moves, but going out to nightclubs with them with them all the time and acting like she&#8217;s 25 is pretty obnoxious. <\/p>\n<p>Little did I know she could pull a move that would make her 10x more obnoxious and at least 10,000,000 times more creepy: she could be the face of lube. According to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.thesuperficial.com\/kris-jenner-lube-zestra-02-2012\">The Superficial<\/a>, Kris Jenner has signed on as the new spokeswoman for Zestra Essential Arousal Oils, &#8220;which claims to enhance a woman\u2019s sexual pleasure by heightening sensitivity to touch.&#8221; Via the source:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cShe\u2019s tried it and uses it. She wants to promote great sex,\u201d a source tells Life &#038; Style about Kris, who has been married to Bruce since 1991. \u201cZestra is an over-the-counter product clinically proven to enhance a woman\u2019s sexual pleasure.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Let that sit for a minute. Yep. There it is. Feel that? That wave of nausea? It&#8217;s probably because you&#8217;re subconsciously imagining Kris and Bruce Jenner mashing their overly-silicone bodies together, with Bruce&#8217;s frozen face hardly budging and Kris constantly yelling &#8220;oh GOD I HOPE THE PAPARAZZI DON&#8217;T ACCIDENTALLY SHOW UP AT THE SCHEDULED TIME THAT I INVITED THEM!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m sorry to do this to you this early in the morning, but if I have to see it, so do you. That&#8217;s how it goes. Have a lovely day picturing Kris mid-orgasm. <\/p>\n<!--themify_builder_content-->\n<div id=\"themify_builder_content-13570\" data-postid=\"13570\" class=\"themify_builder_content themify_builder_content-13570 themify_builder tf_clear\">\n    <\/div>\n<!--\/themify_builder_content-->\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>img via lisamarksmedia The few times I have seen Keeping Up With the Kardashians, I was struck not only by how self-centered and selfish the daughters were, but also by how weirdly obsessed their mother, Kris Jenner, was with their lives. I know she is a &#8220;momager,&#8221; and it&#8217;s actually her job to be almost [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3638],"tags":[7867,6557,566,7719,7868,4727,3415,2404],"class_list":["post-13570","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-celebrity-gossip","tag-bruce-jenner","tag-keeping-up-with-the-kardashians","tag-kim-kardashian","tag-kris-jenner","tag-kris-jenner-selling-lube","tag-lube","tag-reality-stars","tag-wtf","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13570"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13570"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13570\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13579,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13570\/revisions\/13579"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13570"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13570"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13570"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}