{"id":13676,"date":"2012-02-21T13:14:44","date_gmt":"2012-02-21T20:14:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/?p=13676"},"modified":"2012-02-21T13:14:44","modified_gmt":"2012-02-21T20:14:44","slug":"dumb-criminal-alert-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/dumb-criminal-alert-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Dumb Criminal Alert"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Helpful hint to anyone planning on rioting, vandalizing, and setting fire to things: don&#8217;t have a distinct facial feature that will get you caught, like say, TOTALLY OBVIOUS CROSSED EYES.<\/p>\n<p><center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/bcu2-shared.onlinebootycall.com.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/crossedeyes.jpg\"\/><\/center><\/p>\n<p>According to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.dailymail.co.uk\/news\/article-2103918\/Peckham-riots-Cross-eyed-shop-arsonist-Andrew-Burls-jailed-8-years.html?ITO=1490\">the Daily Mail<\/a>, 23-year-old Andrew Burls participated in the London rioting this past August has been arrested and jailed for setting fire to buildings that caused over a million dollars in damage. After scouring surveillance footage from the riots, police noticed a strange detail about one of the arsonists &#8211; his eyes looked in different directions. The dummy covered up the bottom half of his face with a bandana, but failed to realize the the most distinct feature about him WAS ON THE TOP HALF.<\/p>\n<p>So just keep in mind, folks: if you decide to ruin peoples&#8217; lives by setting their homes and businesses on fire, maybe make sure that you aren&#8217;t a cross-eyed DUMBASS first.<\/p>\n<!--themify_builder_content-->\n<div id=\"themify_builder_content-13676\" data-postid=\"13676\" class=\"themify_builder_content themify_builder_content-13676 themify_builder tf_clear\">\n    <\/div>\n<!--\/themify_builder_content-->\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Helpful hint to anyone planning on rioting, vandalizing, and setting fire to things: don&#8217;t have a distinct facial feature that will get you caught, like say, TOTALLY OBVIOUS CROSSED EYES. According to the Daily Mail, 23-year-old Andrew Burls participated in the London rioting this past August has been arrested and jailed for setting fire to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3995],"tags":[7917,7016,3268,6614,1024],"class_list":["post-13676","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-wtf-dating-news","tag-cross-eyed-arsonist","tag-dumb-criminal-alert","tag-headlines","tag-london-riots","tag-news","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13676"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13676"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13676\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13678,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13676\/revisions\/13678"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13676"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13676"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13676"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}