{"id":13909,"date":"2012-03-14T13:45:24","date_gmt":"2012-03-14T20:45:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/?p=13909"},"modified":"2012-03-14T11:40:32","modified_gmt":"2012-03-14T18:40:32","slug":"hump-day-hottie-jessica-biel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/hump-day-hottie-jessica-biel\/","title":{"rendered":"Hump Day Hottie: Jessica Biel"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/bcu2-shared.onlinebootycall.com.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/jessica-biel.jpg\"\/><\/center><\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m not normally one for jealousy, but at this very moment it PAINS me to name this week&#8217;s Hump Day Hottie: Jessica Biel. While gorgeous and talented (and having one of the best asses in Hollywood), I have the inclination to despise this woman because she stole my future husband, singer\/actor\/designer\/dancer\/comedian\/omnimpotent God Justin Timberlake. <\/p>\n<p>Sure, he may have not known that we were meant to be together, but I was just waiting for the perfect moment (i.e. obtaining his address from a private investigator) to let him know that we were soul mates. But NOW MY FUTURE IS RUINED, due to the rumored news that he proposed to <strike>this bitch<\/strike> this week&#8217;s Hump Day Hottie over the holidays last year. I still held out hope that it was just a horrible joke, until she was spotted last weekend <a href=\"http:\/\/www.usmagazine.com\/celebrity-style\/news\/jessica-biels-engagement-ring-all-the-details-2012133\">showing off the engagement ring<\/a> THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE.<\/p>\n<p>Needless to say, I can&#8217;t blame the guy. First of all, he hadn&#8217;t yet met me, and second &#8211; the woman is a bombshell. <a href=\"http:\/\/abcnews.go.com\/blogs\/entertainment\/2012\/03\/jessica-biel-revealed-fighting-women-flirting-with-her-bad-side\/\">Her recent cover of W magazine<\/a> proved such, and with the above photo included in the shoot, I suppose he&#8217;d be dumb NOT to lock that down.<\/p>\n<p>I will spend the rest of my days mourning the loss of the love of my life, but at least for the rest of the day I can ogle this chick and maybe imagine them doing it because I bet it&#8217;s super hot.<\/p>\n<p>Congrats, you man-stealing witch.<\/p>\n<!--themify_builder_content-->\n<div id=\"themify_builder_content-13909\" data-postid=\"13909\" class=\"themify_builder_content themify_builder_content-13909 themify_builder tf_clear\">\n    <\/div>\n<!--\/themify_builder_content-->\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m not normally one for jealousy, but at this very moment it PAINS me to name this week&#8217;s Hump Day Hottie: Jessica Biel. While gorgeous and talented (and having one of the best asses in Hollywood), I have the inclination to despise this woman because she stole my future husband, singer\/actor\/designer\/dancer\/comedian\/omnimpotent God Justin Timberlake. Sure, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3638],"tags":[205,1939,7951,4873,64,4184,7952],"class_list":["post-13909","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-celebrity-gossip","tag-celebrities","tag-hot-chicks","tag-hump-day-hottie","tag-jessica-biel","tag-justin-timberlake","tag-magazine-covers","tag-sexy-celebrities","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13909"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13909"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13909\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13922,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13909\/revisions\/13922"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13909"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13909"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13909"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}