{"id":16802,"date":"2012-12-19T15:49:14","date_gmt":"2012-12-19T22:49:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/?p=16802"},"modified":"2012-12-19T15:49:14","modified_gmt":"2012-12-19T22:49:14","slug":"merry-almost-christmas-from-durex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/merry-almost-christmas-from-durex\/","title":{"rendered":"Merry Almost Christmas From Durex"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>On the 19th day of December, my safe sex life gave to me:<\/p>\n<p>12 late night booty calls,<br \/>\n11 sneaky car hookups,<br \/>\n10 sexy photos,<br \/>\n9 dirty texts,<br \/>\n8 neck hickies (ew, dude),<br \/>\n7 lunchtime quickies,<br \/>\n6 morning woods,<br \/>\n<b><i>FIVE WINKS ON O-B-C!!!!!<\/i><\/b><br \/>\n4 steamy voicemails,<br \/>\n3 big O&#8217;s,<br \/>\n2 sweaty finishes,<br \/>\nand the knowledge that I have no STDs (or babies!)!!!!<\/p>\n<p>Seriously guys, glove your junk this holiday season. No one wants an unexpected Christmas present.<\/p>\n<p><center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/bcu2-shared.onlinebootycall.com.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/merrychristmas.jpg\"\/><\/center><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.buzzfeed.com\/copyranter\/christmas-sex-ads\" target=_blank>source<\/a><\/p>\n<!--themify_builder_content-->\n<div id=\"themify_builder_content-16802\" data-postid=\"16802\" class=\"themify_builder_content themify_builder_content-16802 themify_builder tf_clear\">\n    <\/div>\n<!--\/themify_builder_content-->\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>On the 19th day of December, my safe sex life gave to me: 12 late night booty calls, 11 sneaky car hookups, 10 sexy photos, 9 dirty texts, 8 neck hickies (ew, dude), 7 lunchtime quickies, 6 morning woods, FIVE WINKS ON O-B-C!!!!! 4 steamy voicemails, 3 big O&#8217;s, 2 sweaty finishes, and the knowledge [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[936,462,21,1140,9573],"class_list":["post-16802","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating-and-sex","tag-christmas","tag-condoms","tag-safe-sex","tag-stds","tag-unplanned-pregnancy","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16802"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16802"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16802\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16805,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16802\/revisions\/16805"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16802"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16802"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16802"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}