{"id":19600,"date":"2013-09-23T09:15:42","date_gmt":"2013-09-23T16:15:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/?p=19600"},"modified":"2013-09-23T09:14:51","modified_gmt":"2013-09-23T16:14:51","slug":"old-man-murders-wife-for-putting-bottle-cap-on-too-tight","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/old-man-murders-wife-for-putting-bottle-cap-on-too-tight\/","title":{"rendered":"Old Man Murders Wife For Putting Bottle Cap On Too Tight"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/bcu2-shared.onlinebootycall.com.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/lawrenceloeffler.jpg\"\/><\/center><\/p>\n<p>Welcome back, #teamSINGLE! How was your weekend? Did you get to use some of our <a href=\"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/five-ways-to-better-your-chances-of-getting-laid-this-weekend\/\" target=_blank>tips for getting laid<\/a>? Or did you, like someone I know, get thrown against a wall by a bout of the flu so bad it felt like maybe your insides were revolting and trying to secede from your body? Well, either way, no time to complain, because we&#8217;re back to the week with another reason not to get married:<\/p>\n<p><b>Your husband might shoot you for accidentally putting on the lid of a ketchup bottle too tight. <\/b><\/p>\n<p>According to <a href=\"http:\/\/news.msn.com\/crime-justice\/ore-man-killed-wife-for-closing-ketchup-bottle-too-tightly?stay=1\" target=_blank>MSN<\/a>, 86-year-old Lawrence Loeffler was arrested last week for shooting and killing his 83-year-old wife for, among other reasons, &#8220;put[ting] the lid on the ketchup bottle too tightly.&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>According to prosecutor Mary Anderson, via MSN:<\/p>\n<p><i>&#8220;Lawrence Loeffler took the phone off the hook, retrieved a .25-caliber handgun in the middle of the night from the bedroom where she slept and then &#8220;set a trap&#8221; to get his wife onto the deck at the back of their house.<\/p>\n<p>He shot her once in the neck and then again in the head in what he described to investigators as a &#8220;kill shot&#8221; to make sure she was dead.&#8221;<\/i><\/p>\n<p>According to the source, Loeffler originally stated the shooting was in self defense, but eventually admitted to police that he planned the shooting &#8220;after a series of grievances with his family that prosecutors said included the failure of his stepdaughter to wish him a happy birthday and his complaint that his wife put the lid on the ketchup bottle too tightly.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Now, of course this could be the product of dementia and delusions, considering that Loeffler is in his 8th decade on the planet. However, there&#8217;s something to be said for so many little irritations between a couple that a tough condiment lid leads you to want to blast the head of someone you&#8217;ve been married to for years.<\/p>\n<p>So, why wait to get married? Well, can you imagine what Miley might have gone redneck ape-shit over when SHE turned 85 and had been married to Liam Hemsworth for <i><b>64 YEARS???<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n<!--themify_builder_content-->\n<div id=\"themify_builder_content-19600\" data-postid=\"19600\" class=\"themify_builder_content themify_builder_content-19600 themify_builder tf_clear\">\n    <\/div>\n<!--\/themify_builder_content-->\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Welcome back, #teamSINGLE! How was your weekend? Did you get to use some of our tips for getting laid? Or did you, like someone I know, get thrown against a wall by a bout of the flu so bad it felt like maybe your insides were revolting and trying to secede from your body? Well, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3996],"tags":[5868,10809,10811,10810,2404],"class_list":["post-19600","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-headlines-dating-news","tag-teamsingle","tag-lawrence-loeffler","tag-man-kills-wife-for-putting-ketchup-lid-on-too-tight","tag-reasons-not-to-get-marries","tag-wtf","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19600"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19600"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19600\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19607,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19600\/revisions\/19607"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19600"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19600"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19600"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}