{"id":27050,"date":"2021-10-26T09:50:59","date_gmt":"2021-10-26T16:50:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/?p=27050"},"modified":"2021-10-25T10:57:27","modified_gmt":"2021-10-25T17:57:27","slug":"what-to-do-if-you-catch-feelings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/what-to-do-if-you-catch-feelings\/","title":{"rendered":"What to Do if You Catch Feelings"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

For the most part on OBC, booty calls are fun, light-hearted, NSA hookups between casual acquaintances or friends. They end as quickly as they begin with both parties going back to their lives without any unnecessary small talk. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But what happens if, after a date\/hookup, you find yourself “catching feelings”? Well, an advice columnist over at VICE <\/a>has some answers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hey man. I’m sleeping with this person, and it’s casual, but I think I’m starting to get attached. I\u2019m not sure what I want, or what to do about these feelings.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t tend to go all bio-chem with the answers, but this one warrants it.<\/p>

\u201cSex releases the hormone oxytocin. It’s the reason we bond and fall in love with people,\u201d says Dr Laura Vowels, an expert advisor and principal researcher for\u00a0Blueheart<\/a>, a sex therapy app. Generally when our brain decides to emit this chemical, we feel empathetic, caring, and we trust people a little more. Levels of oxytocin increase when we hug or have orgasms, for instance.\u00a0<\/p>

\u201cIt’s completely understandable that after good sex we feel closer to someone and perhaps start having feelings for them,\u201d says Vowels.<\/p>

Given the fact that this is literal biology, \u201cit\u2019s very common for friends with benefits and casual sex partners to start having feelings,\u201d adds James Thomas, relationship expert at\u00a0Condoms.uk<\/a>.<\/p>

Oxytocin, among other things, will make us\u00a0feel<\/em>\u00a0like<\/em>\u00a0we have feelings for the person we\u2019re fucking, but that doesn\u2019t mean we do have feelings or that we are attached to them. So first of all, we need to suss out what\u2019s actually on our minds.\u00a0<\/p>

There\u2019s a few ways to do this. Easiest being just have a sit and think. Grab a pen and paper if that\u2019s your bag, or a mate and a pint, whatever. Doesn\u2019t matter. But if you\u2019re new to this self-reflection lark, \u201cjournaling the thoughts is a good thing to do, because you can actually read it back, plus getting it out of your head is always useful,\u201d says\u00a0relationship expert<\/a>\u00a0John Kenny. However you do it, racking your mind is key. You have a bunch of questions to answer. Namely:\u00a0<\/p>

\u2013 Do you care about this person as much when you haven\u2019t seen them for a little while?\u00a0<\/p>

\u2013 Are they on your mind quite a lot?\u00a0<\/p>

\u2013 Are you sure this isn\u2019t just lust?\u00a0<\/p>

\u2013 Are you sure you\u2019re not just a bit lonely and are using this to fill a gap?\u00a0<\/p>

\u2013\u00a0When you think about them, are you thinking about the sex or more about their personality, and that thing they said?\u00a0<\/p>

\u201cMake it more transactional \u2013 straight in, straight out. No supplementary meals together, or time together. You\u2019ve got to keep them at arm\u2019s length and essentially cut off everything but the intimate sessions you\u2019ve both agreed to,\u201d says Thomas.\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

There you have it. If you’re catchin’ feelings and don’t want a relationship, you need to make it all about the sex. If the feelings keep comin back? Well then, “first comes sex, then comes love” is another motto we love :)<\/p>\n\n

\n <\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For the most part on OBC, booty calls are fun, light-hearted, NSA hookups between casual acquaintances or friends. They end as quickly as they begin with both parties going back to their lives without any unnecessary small talk. But what happens if, after a date\/hookup, you find yourself “catching feelings”? Well, an advice columnist over […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27050","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating-and-sex","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27050"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27050"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27050\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27052,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27050\/revisions\/27052"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27050"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27050"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27050"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}