{"id":27170,"date":"2021-12-10T08:21:00","date_gmt":"2021-12-10T15:21:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/?p=27170"},"modified":"2021-12-08T14:26:48","modified_gmt":"2021-12-08T21:26:48","slug":"the-balldo-a-dildo-for-your-balls","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/the-balldo-a-dildo-for-your-balls\/","title":{"rendered":"The Balldo, a Dildo for Your Balls"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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It’s Friday, so let’s get freaky. Look no further than this article over at VICE, where a writer tried out an, um… innovatice new toy that allow you to have sex with your scrotum. What? Yeah, we don’t know either. Let’s hear it:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After being emailed repeatedly about the numerous abilities of the Balldo (“the world\u2019s first ball-dildo\u201d, according to its manufacturers), each one more incredible than the last (including but not limited to: the Balldo \u201callows the wearer and recipient to have \u2018Ballsex\u2019 and have their first \u2018ballgasm\u2019\u201d, the Balldo is a \u201csolution for ED [erectile dysfunction]\u201d and is a \u201cnever seen before way of extra pleasure in sex\u201d), I knew it was my professional duty to experience this.\u00a0<\/p>

\u00a0I attempted my first foray into ballsex with my partner Erin, after extensive foreplay and prep to make sure they were ready to receive their first ball-dildo. We tried missionary and barely got the tip in. More lube. Still didn\u2019t work. More lube. Tried doggy, super slow. Still didn\u2019t work. More lube. Tried missionary again, with Erin\u2019s legs spread high as instructed by the Balldo makers.\u00a0<\/p>

We were onto a fisting amount of lube by now, enough to sink a ship. My dick flopped around on top like a lonely\u00a0Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tubeman<\/a>\u00a0at a threesome he wasn\u2019t invited to \u2013\u00a0not a sight I\u2019ll forget any time soon. This carried on until I spotted drops of blood on the sheets, so we discontinued our investigation. The situation had become about as sexy as a Tory conference at a depressed seaside town.\u00a0<\/p>

This was the worst sex toy I\u2019ve ever tried, and that includes the one that was\u00a0like fucking an inkjet printer<\/a>. Thankfully, Erin\u2019s bleeding only lasted for a short time; we had non-ball-involved sex the next morning and it was fine. In conclusion, yes, it turns out you can actually fuck someone with your balls. But just because you can, doesn\u2019t mean you should.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Big thanks to this writer at VICE who saved us all a whole lot of trouble. No thanks, Balldo. <\/p>\n\n

\n <\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s Friday, so let’s get freaky. Look no further than this article over at VICE, where a writer tried out an, um… innovatice new toy that allow you to have sex with your scrotum. What? Yeah, we don’t know either. Let’s hear it: After being emailed repeatedly about the numerous abilities of the Balldo (“the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27170","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating-and-sex","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27170"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27170"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27170\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27172,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27170\/revisions\/27172"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27170"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27170"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27170"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}