{"id":30847,"date":"2025-04-16T14:14:49","date_gmt":"2025-04-16T21:14:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/?p=30847"},"modified":"2026-03-11T10:40:07","modified_gmt":"2026-03-11T17:40:07","slug":"floodlighting-the-toxic-dating-habit-youll-want-to-dodge","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/floodlighting-the-toxic-dating-habit-youll-want-to-dodge\/","title":{"rendered":"Floodlighting: The Toxic Dating Habit You\u2019ll Want to Dodge"},"content":{"rendered":"<!--themify_builder_content-->\n<div id=\"themify_builder_content-30847\" data-postid=\"30847\" class=\"themify_builder_content themify_builder_content-30847 themify_builder tf_clear\">\n    \t\t\t\t<div  data-lazy=\"1\" class=\"module_row themify_builder_row tb_jsgc625 tb_first tf_w\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"row_inner col_align_top tb_col_count_1 tf_box tf_rel\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div  data-lazy=\"1\" class=\"module_column tb-column col-full tb_2nf6625 first\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<!-- module image -->\n<div  class=\"module module-image tb_qv8e525 image-top   tf_mw\" data-lazy=\"1\">\n        <div class=\"image-wrap tf_rel tf_mw\">\n\t\t    <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"768\" src=\"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/floodlight.jpg\" class=\"wp-post-image wp-image-30848\" title=\"floodlight\" alt=\"floodlight\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/floodlight.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/floodlight-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/floodlight-768x576.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/>\t\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<!-- \/image-wrap -->\n    \n    \t<\/div>\n<!-- \/module image --><!-- module text -->\n<div  class=\"module module-text tb_k1de160   \" data-lazy=\"1\">\n\t    <div  class=\"tb_text_wrap\">\n\t\t<p class=\"\" data-start=\"232\" data-end=\"654\">Let\u2019s talk about a sneaky dating habit that might be flying under your radar \u2014 <em data-start=\"311\" data-end=\"326\">floodlighting<\/em>. No, it\u2019s not about installing stadium lights in your backyard. It\u2019s actually a behavior trend in relationships, and according to this <a class=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.today.com\/life\/relationships\/floodlighting-toxic-dating-trend-rcna199554\" target=\"_new\" rel=\"noopener\" data-start=\"462\" data-end=\"563\">Today article<\/a>, it\u2019s something that can seriously derail your romantic connections if you\u2019re not careful.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"656\" data-end=\"684\">So, what <em data-start=\"665\" data-end=\"669\">is<\/em> floodlighting?<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"686\" data-end=\"1053\">Think of it like emotional oversharing on steroids \u2014 but not the healthy, getting-vulnerable kind. Floodlighting happens when someone shares deeply personal, intense, or even traumatic information way too early in a relationship. The idea? They\u2019re skipping the slow burn of building trust and trying to fast-forward into intimacy. Spoiler alert: it usually backfires.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1055\" data-end=\"1082\">You might hear things like:<\/p>\n<ul data-start=\"1084\" data-end=\"1233\">\n<li class=\"\" data-start=\"1084\" data-end=\"1121\">\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1086\" data-end=\"1121\">\u201cI\u2019ve never told anyone this, but\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li class=\"\" data-start=\"1122\" data-end=\"1184\">\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1124\" data-end=\"1184\">\u201cMy last relationship ended badly \u2014 I caught them cheating.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li class=\"\" data-start=\"1185\" data-end=\"1233\">\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1187\" data-end=\"1233\">\u201cI have major trust issues, just so you know.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1235\" data-end=\"1558\">These aren\u2019t red flags <em data-start=\"1258\" data-end=\"1273\">by themselves<\/em> \u2014 we all have baggage. But when someone drops this kind of emotional weight on you early and often, it can feel overwhelming, confusing, or even manipulative. According to therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw (quoted in the article), this kind of sharing \u201ccreates a false sense of closeness.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1560\" data-end=\"1626\">And sometimes, it\u2019s not even about closeness \u2014 it\u2019s about control.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1628\" data-end=\"1657\"><strong data-start=\"1628\" data-end=\"1657\">Why do people floodlight?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1659\" data-end=\"1888\">Some people floodlight because they\u2019re anxious, scared of rejection, or want to test how much you\u2019re willing to \u201chandle.\u201d Others might do it as a form of emotional dumping, without realizing the impact it has on the other person.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1890\" data-end=\"2076\">Whatever the reason, it creates a lopsided relationship dynamic where one person is doing all the heavy emotional lifting \u2014 and the other feels like they\u2019re stuck under a pile of bricks.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2078\" data-end=\"2111\"><strong data-start=\"2078\" data-end=\"2111\">How to spot it (and avoid it)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2113\" data-end=\"2271\">Here\u2019s the thing: real intimacy takes time. So if someone you just met is baring their soul in the first few conversations, take a step back and ask yourself:<\/p>\n<ul data-start=\"2273\" data-end=\"2401\">\n<li class=\"\" data-start=\"2273\" data-end=\"2311\">\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2275\" data-end=\"2311\"><em data-start=\"2275\" data-end=\"2309\">Do I feel comfortable with this?<\/em><\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li class=\"\" data-start=\"2312\" data-end=\"2401\">\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2314\" data-end=\"2401\"><em data-start=\"2314\" data-end=\"2401\">Is this a two-way street, or am I being asked to carry someone else\u2019s emotional load?<\/em><\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2403\" data-end=\"2652\">And if <em data-start=\"2410\" data-end=\"2415\">you<\/em> catch yourself floodlighting, don\u2019t panic \u2014 it doesn\u2019t make you a bad dater. Just try slowing down and giving the relationship time to unfold naturally. Save the deep dives for when you\u2019ve both built a little trust and emotional safety.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2654\" data-end=\"2670\"><strong data-start=\"2654\" data-end=\"2670\">Bottom line:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2672\" data-end=\"2937\">Healthy connection is built in layers \u2014 not dropped like a bomb. Whether you&#8217;re swiping on <a href=\"https:\/\/onlinebootycall.com\">OBC Dating<\/a> or meeting someone IRL, remember that pacing matters. You don\u2019t need to overshare to make someone like you. Sometimes, the best way to build intimacy\u2026 is to take it slow.<\/p>    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n<!-- \/module text -->\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n<!--\/themify_builder_content-->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Let\u2019s talk about a sneaky dating habit that might be flying under your radar \u2014 floodlighting. No, it\u2019s not about installing stadium lights in your backyard. It\u2019s actually a behavior trend in relationships, and according to this Today article, it\u2019s something that can seriously derail your romantic connections if you\u2019re not careful. So, what is [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-30847","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating-and-sex","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"<img src=\"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/floodlight.jpg\" title=\"floodlight\" alt=\"floodlight\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/floodlight.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/floodlight-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/floodlight-768x576.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/>\n<p data-start=\"232\" data-end=\"654\">Let\u2019s talk about a sneaky dating habit that might be flying under your radar \u2014 <em data-start=\"311\" data-end=\"326\">floodlighting<\/em>. No, it\u2019s not about installing stadium lights in your backyard. It\u2019s actually a behavior trend in relationships, and according to this <a href=\"https:\/\/www.today.com\/life\/relationships\/floodlighting-toxic-dating-trend-rcna199554\" target=\"_new\" rel=\"noopener\" data-start=\"462\" data-end=\"563\">Today article<\/a>, it\u2019s something that can seriously derail your romantic connections if you\u2019re not careful.<\/p> <p data-start=\"656\" data-end=\"684\">So, what <em data-start=\"665\" data-end=\"669\">is<\/em> floodlighting?<\/p> <p data-start=\"686\" data-end=\"1053\">Think of it like emotional oversharing on steroids \u2014 but not the healthy, getting-vulnerable kind. Floodlighting happens when someone shares deeply personal, intense, or even traumatic information way too early in a relationship. The idea? They\u2019re skipping the slow burn of building trust and trying to fast-forward into intimacy. Spoiler alert: it usually backfires.<\/p> <p data-start=\"1055\" data-end=\"1082\">You might hear things like:<\/p> <ul data-start=\"1084\" data-end=\"1233\"> <li data-start=\"1084\" data-end=\"1121\"> <p data-start=\"1086\" data-end=\"1121\">\u201cI\u2019ve never told anyone this, but\u2026\u201d<\/p> <\/li> <li data-start=\"1122\" data-end=\"1184\"> <p data-start=\"1124\" data-end=\"1184\">\u201cMy last relationship ended badly \u2014 I caught them cheating.\u201d<\/p> <\/li> <li data-start=\"1185\" data-end=\"1233\"> <p data-start=\"1187\" data-end=\"1233\">\u201cI have major trust issues, just so you know.\u201d<\/p> <\/li> <\/ul> <p data-start=\"1235\" data-end=\"1558\">These aren\u2019t red flags <em data-start=\"1258\" data-end=\"1273\">by themselves<\/em> \u2014 we all have baggage. But when someone drops this kind of emotional weight on you early and often, it can feel overwhelming, confusing, or even manipulative. According to therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw (quoted in the article), this kind of sharing \u201ccreates a false sense of closeness.\u201d<\/p> <p data-start=\"1560\" data-end=\"1626\">And sometimes, it\u2019s not even about closeness \u2014 it\u2019s about control.<\/p> <p data-start=\"1628\" data-end=\"1657\"><strong data-start=\"1628\" data-end=\"1657\">Why do people floodlight?<\/strong><\/p> <p data-start=\"1659\" data-end=\"1888\">Some people floodlight because they\u2019re anxious, scared of rejection, or want to test how much you\u2019re willing to \u201chandle.\u201d Others might do it as a form of emotional dumping, without realizing the impact it has on the other person.<\/p> <p data-start=\"1890\" data-end=\"2076\">Whatever the reason, it creates a lopsided relationship dynamic where one person is doing all the heavy emotional lifting \u2014 and the other feels like they\u2019re stuck under a pile of bricks.<\/p> <p data-start=\"2078\" data-end=\"2111\"><strong data-start=\"2078\" data-end=\"2111\">How to spot it (and avoid it)<\/strong><\/p> <p data-start=\"2113\" data-end=\"2271\">Here\u2019s the thing: real intimacy takes time. So if someone you just met is baring their soul in the first few conversations, take a step back and ask yourself:<\/p> <ul data-start=\"2273\" data-end=\"2401\"> <li data-start=\"2273\" data-end=\"2311\"> <p data-start=\"2275\" data-end=\"2311\"><em data-start=\"2275\" data-end=\"2309\">Do I feel comfortable with this?<\/em><\/p> <\/li> <li data-start=\"2312\" data-end=\"2401\"> <p data-start=\"2314\" data-end=\"2401\"><em data-start=\"2314\" data-end=\"2401\">Is this a two-way street, or am I being asked to carry someone else\u2019s emotional load?<\/em><\/p> <\/li> <\/ul> <p data-start=\"2403\" data-end=\"2652\">And if <em data-start=\"2410\" data-end=\"2415\">you<\/em> catch yourself floodlighting, don\u2019t panic \u2014 it doesn\u2019t make you a bad dater. Just try slowing down and giving the relationship time to unfold naturally. Save the deep dives for when you\u2019ve both built a little trust and emotional safety.<\/p> <p data-start=\"2654\" data-end=\"2670\"><strong data-start=\"2654\" data-end=\"2670\">Bottom line:<\/strong><\/p> <p data-start=\"2672\" data-end=\"2937\">Healthy connection is built in layers \u2014 not dropped like a bomb. Whether you're swiping on <a href=\"https:\/\/onlinebootycall.com\">OBC Dating<\/a> or meeting someone IRL, remember that pacing matters. You don\u2019t need to overshare to make someone like you. Sometimes, the best way to build intimacy\u2026 is to take it slow.<\/p>","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30847"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=30847"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30847\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":31804,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30847\/revisions\/31804"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=30847"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=30847"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=30847"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}