{"id":31499,"date":"2025-11-24T07:50:38","date_gmt":"2025-11-24T14:50:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/?p=31499"},"modified":"2025-11-24T07:50:39","modified_gmt":"2025-11-24T14:50:39","slug":"dudes-we-need-to-talk-about-your-dating-profile-pics","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/dudes-we-need-to-talk-about-your-dating-profile-pics\/","title":{"rendered":"Dudes, We Need to Talk About Your Dating Profile Pics"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Look, I say this with love: some of y\u2019all are out here committing photography crimes<\/strong>. As a benevolent, world-weary dating-site admin who has reviewed more profiles than I\u2019ve had hot dinners, I am begging<\/em> you \u2014 please stop sabotaging yourselves.<\/strong><\/p>

If you truly want to get laid (or loved! or lightly admired!), why\u2026 why<\/em> is that<\/strong> the photo you chose to represent your entire romantic potential?<\/p>

Let\u2019s fix it, shall we?<\/p>

1. Stop Taking Photos in the Dark. You\u2019re Not a Cryptid.<\/strong><\/h2>

I promise you:
Flash-on-at-midnight is not a vibe.<\/strong><\/p>

You are not being \u201cmysterious.\u201d You are being lit like a raccoon rummaging through a trash can.<\/em><\/p>

Stand near a window. Face the light. Daylight is your friend. If you can see yourself clearly without squinting? Good. That\u2019s a real human photo.<\/p>

2. The Under-the-Chin Car Selfie? No. Absolutely Not.<\/strong><\/h2>

I need you to hear this gently:
No one \u2014 NO ONE \u2014 looks sexy from the \u201cdriver\u2019s seat triple-chin surveillance cam\u201d angle.<\/strong><\/p>

I don\u2019t know who started the rumor that \u201ccar = good lighting,\u201d but the execution has gotten out of hand.
Your steering wheel is not a ring light.<\/p>

Hold the phone up slightly. Tilt your head like a person. Smile. Pretend you\u2019re not parked outside AutoZone contemplating your existence.<\/p>

3. Put Your Tongue Back in Your Mouth, Sir.<\/strong><\/h2>

Look at me.<\/p>

No.<\/p>

Stop.<\/p>

Your tongue is not flirting. Your tongue is not cute. Your tongue is not sending the message you think it is.<\/p>

Unless you\u2019re at the dentist saying \u201caaaah,\u201d keep that thing where it belongs.<\/strong><\/p>

4. Grooming. Grooming. Grooming.<\/strong><\/h2>

I wish you could see how many profiles would improve instantly<\/strong> with 30 seconds of effort:<\/p>