{"id":4113,"date":"2010-05-13T13:27:31","date_gmt":"2010-05-13T20:27:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bcu.onlinebootycall.com\/?p=4113"},"modified":"2010-05-13T13:27:31","modified_gmt":"2010-05-13T20:27:31","slug":"sht-my-kids-ruined","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/sht-my-kids-ruined\/","title":{"rendered":"Sh*t My Kids Ruined"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-4117\" title=\"kidpaint\" src=\"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/05\/kidpaint.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"261\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/05\/kidpaint.jpg 350w, https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/05\/kidpaint-300x223.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/05\/kidpaint-340x253.jpg 340w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 350px) 100vw, 350px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Is your internal clock ticking? Feeling the need to procreate and enjoy the wonder of making a baby? This is a disease that is currently making a Bubonic plague-like rampage across America, a fact I&#8217;ve deduced due my Facebook friends list thumbnails being about 40% baby photos. \u00a0Don&#8217;t worry, though, there are many antibiotics for this bacterial outbreak, from birth control to condoms to abstinence (just kidding, that&#8217;s awful).<\/p>\n<p>However, if you really want to stem the flow of paternal instinct pouring from your hormones, all you need to do is check out this site: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.shitmykidsruined.com\" target=\"_blank\">Sh*tMyKidsRuined.com<\/a>. Overflowing with child-induced disasters like destroyed furniture, broken china, and something called &#8220;mustard butt&#8221;&#8230; it&#8217;s enough to turn you off to the idea of kids for another, eh&#8230; 10 years?<\/p>\n<!--themify_builder_content-->\n<div id=\"themify_builder_content-4113\" data-postid=\"4113\" class=\"themify_builder_content themify_builder_content-4113 themify_builder tf_clear\">\n    <\/div>\n<!--\/themify_builder_content-->\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Is your internal clock ticking? Feeling the need to procreate and enjoy the wonder of making a baby? This is a disease that is currently making a Bubonic plague-like rampage across America, a fact I&#8217;ve deduced due my Facebook friends list thumbnails being about 40% baby photos. \u00a0Don&#8217;t worry, though, there are many antibiotics for [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,4],"tags":[1524,2483,1224,1222,462,2509,706,2511,21,2510,201],"class_list":["post-4113","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-advice","category-thelife","tag-awful","tag-babies","tag-birth-control","tag-children","tag-condoms","tag-having-children","tag-kids","tag-mustard-butt","tag-safe-sex","tag-shtmykidsruined","tag-single-life","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4113"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4113"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4113\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4120,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4113\/revisions\/4120"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4113"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4113"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4113"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}