{"id":4202,"date":"2010-05-21T11:21:54","date_gmt":"2010-05-21T18:21:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bcu.onlinebootycall.com\/?p=4202"},"modified":"2010-05-21T11:21:54","modified_gmt":"2010-05-21T18:21:54","slug":"benefits-of-a-two-ton-bed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/benefits-of-a-two-ton-bed\/","title":{"rendered":"Benefits of a Two-Ton Bed"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

Parisian designer Rick Owen (Rick Owens? That’s like, the least French name I’ve ever heard) just came up with a fascinating piece of furniture: a 2 ton<\/strong> bed made with alabaster, bronze and marble, called Pavane for a Dead Princess<\/em>, which sounds exactly like a place that you’d die in your sleep.<\/p>\n

It may seem crazy to buy an art piece to sleep on, but trust us, there are benefits!<\/p>\n

1. Your friends will never, ever help you move.<\/strong><\/p>\n

2. When bringing a booty call over, you’ll have to be extra careful not to hit her head on the bed frame, because she could literally die.<\/strong><\/p>\n

3. You won’t be able to pay your rent.<\/strong><\/p>\n

4. The floor of your apartment could cave in, plummeting you to your death.<\/strong><\/p>\n

5. Hitting your shin on the side of the bed could result in bone fragments flying all over the room! Festive!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Read more at Asylum<\/a><\/p>\n\n

\n <\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Parisian designer Rick Owen (Rick Owens? That’s like, the least French name I’ve ever heard) just came up with a fascinating piece of furniture: a 2 ton bed made with alabaster, bronze and marble, called Pavane for a Dead Princess, which sounds exactly like a place that you’d die in your sleep. It may seem […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,10,4,17],"tags":[2583,45,707,2487,2581,2584,2582],"class_list":["post-4202","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bcu-hotties","category-dating-lessons","category-thelife","category-style-and-wear","tag-2-ton-bed","tag-booty-call","tag-crazy","tag-furniture","tag-marble-bed","tag-pavane-for-a-dead-princess","tag-rick-owens","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author",""],"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4202","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4202"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4202\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4207,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4202\/revisions\/4207"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4202"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4202"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onlinebootycall.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4202"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}