We’d all like to think the people we meet for casual dates, hook ups, booty calls or friends with benefits are SINGLE and ready to MINGLE, not TAKEN and leaving someone FORSAKEN, but obviously that’s not always the case. Over on BuzzFeed, readers shared stories about how they found out THEY were the sidepiece, and boy are most of them a-w-k-w-a-r-d.

“When my husband and I separated, I briefly dated a coworker who also said he had been ‘separated’ for a while. To me, that meant living separately and moving toward divorce. To him, that meant not getting along with his wife. I found out when I went to his house for the first time and saw their family pictures and her stuff all over the house.”

 “When I was 22 and fresh out of a traumatic divorce, I started dating this cop. He was always helping his ‘baby mama’ do this and that, and I was like, ‘Cool, he’s responsible.’ Then, one day out of the blue, he confessed that his baby mama was actually his wife. “

“I dated a guy who said he was divorced. Turns out he wasn’t. I gave his now-ex-wife ALL our IMs and texts. The documentation of his lies cost him an additional $600k in their divorce. “

“I started seeing a guy I met on a dating site who I really hit it off with. We had been seeing each other for maybe six weeks when someone with his last name popped up on Facebook as someone I may know. We had been talking about his siblings, so I assumed it was his sister. I opened it up and saw a woman in a wedding dress standing with the man I was dating. It was their wedding photo from just a few years earlier. “