Guess what, everyone! Tonight marks the first time in 500 years that a lunar eclipse falls on the same night as the Winter Solstice! I added the exclamation mark because apparently that is a thing that we should be excited about? It is. I learned about it today. Apparently, tonight the Earth will come directly in between the Sun and the Moon (do you capitalize Moon? Or is it just moon? I mean, all the other moons in the solar system have names like Io and Titan but ours is just like, whatever, “moon”. Poor boring ass moon, SORRY ‘BOUT THAT BRO). The lunar eclipse will give the moon a strange coloration that will not be visible again in your lifetime, or in three years depending on if you’re planning on researching this further. So, you say, cool, whatever, but what should I do to celebrate? Here are a couple ideas:

1) Have a hilarious lunar eclipse viewing party

Have some friends over for a holiday  party to hang lights, decorate a tree, bake cookies, and other such festive activities. Then, around 10:30 at night, say you have a weird feeling something on is going on outside. There, everyone will notice that a shadow is starting to appear on the moon. “Strange,” you’ll say. “Let’s watch a bit longer.” Then, by 11:30 or 12, the entire moon will be covered. Proceed to die a very dramatic death, and just before you take your last breath, whisper, “they’re coming” to whoever is closest. WHAT FUN!

Anyway, once the moon is fully eclipsed, it may produce a very strange reddish color, or different parts of the moon will be different colors, or maybe the world will end. YOU’LL NEVER KNOW UNLESS YOU WATCH (unless the world really ends, you’ll probably figure that one out either way). Enjoy the company of your friends knowing that this particular celebration won’t happen for another 500 years.

2) Host a winter solstice orgy

You will need: wine, face masks and robes, someone with knowledge of Wiccan practices, and maybe like, a rabbit to sacrifice or something, I think. Check with your Wiccan source. As soon as the moon becomes fully eclipsed, get orgyin’.

3) Nothing, because it’s TOO F*CKING CLOUDY TO SEE ANYTHING ANYWAY.

Cool weather, San Diego. Thanks. Good work. Seriously. If you can’t view it from your roof like us in “America’s Finest City”, watch the process via Slooh, a site with a live feed with great imagery.

4) Go on a nature-y camping expedition

If it’s not freezing where you are, find a friend with a telescope and drive out somewhere away from the city. Bring warm clothes and coffee and camping gear and peyote and some Jack Daniels and enjoy nature away from the hustle and bustle of the city. And then go home because ew, bugs.

5) Plan a trip to watch the SOLAR eclipse which sounds WAY COOLER.

In only two weeks, on January 4, 2011, a partial solar eclipse will be visible from Africa, Europe, and parts of Asia, which sounds infinitely cooler. So return those Christmas gifts, find the cheapest flight to Zimbabwe, and get ready for the coolest three minutes of your LIFE!

As you’ll note, I couldn’t really think of more than one thing to celebrate the Winter Solstice Lunar Eclipse, so I came up with one dumb one and then just spouted BS for the rest of the post. Do you have any better ideas? Share them in the comments!