Reason #45,823 to stay single: Whatever the hell this is.

Shania Twain recently announced excitedly that she is engaged to her long-time boyfriend, Frederic Thiébaud. On her personal website, she stated, “Frederic Nicolas Thiebaud has been a true gift to me as a compassionate, understanding friend and over time, an amazing love has blossomed from this precious friendship.  Fred and I are happy to announce, our ENGAGEMENT!”

“Yayyy! How cute and adorable and how fair tale” – You

Now let me fill you in on the gritty details. A while ago, Shania Twain was married to a man named Robert “Mutt” Lange (CLASSY ALERT!), for 14 years. In 2008 it was revealed that Robert was having an affair with Shania’s best friend, Marie-Anne Thiebaud (recognize that name?), who was married to, you guessed it, Frederic! So, each married couple split, and according to reports, Frederic and Shania “bonded over their mutual losses and grew close.” Over the last couple years their depression-fueled friendship apparently blossomed into a relationship, and they are now getting married. GETTING MARRIED, BECAUSE LOOK HOW WELL THAT WORKED OUT LAST TIME.

Oh, also I was confused so I drew a diagram. It’s extremely detailed and should answer any questions you have about this obviously very well-thought out plan.

We wish Shania and Frederic all the luck. They’re gonna need it.