How to Shoot Down Dating Rumors Like Pedro Pascal
Ah, dating rumors. They’re like that one piece of glitter from a birthday card—you didn’t ask for it, you don’t know where it came from, but somehow, it’s stuck to you forever. Whether it’s your coworker, your gym buddy, or just someone you happened to stand next to at a party for too long, suddenly, the world (or at least your nosy group chat) thinks you’re in a serious relationship, even though in reality, you’re much too busy getting booty on Club OBC to settle down.
Enter Pedro Pascal, king of deflection and comedy. Recently, the internet tried to ship him with Jennifer Aniston, and instead of spiraling into a lengthy PR explanation, he hit them with, “What?!” followed by the perfect add-on: “Oh, okay. Sure, yeah, I’ll be her boyfriend.” Absolute gold. Let’s break down the genius of this approach and how you, too, can shut down dating rumors like a pro.
1. Feign Complete and Utter Shock
When someone tells you that you’re allegedly dating someone, go full soap opera. Gasp. Clutch your pearls. Stare dramatically into the distance and whisper, “How could they not tell me?” Bonus points if you drop whatever you’re holding for extra dramatic effect.
2. Roll With It (and Make It Weirder)
Instead of denying the rumor outright, own it and escalate it into absurdity. “Oh, we’re dating? Fantastic. When’s the wedding? Should I order the ice sculpture?” If you’re feeling extra spicy, text the rumored partner and ask them what they’re wearing to your anniversary dinner.
3. Pull a Pedro and Just Accept It
If Pedro Pascal can casually “agree” to be Jennifer Aniston’s boyfriend, you can absolutely lean into the rumor. “Yeah, I’m totally dating my barista. Our love story began over a slightly burnt cappuccino and a shared glance at the tip jar.” The trick is to be so nonchalant that the rumor collapses under its own ridiculousness.
4. Redirect with an Even More Ridiculous Rumor
“Oh, you heard I’m dating Steve from accounting? Actually, I’m in a secret love triangle with Steve and the office vending machine. It’s getting serious.” Give people something so absurd that they forget the original rumor ever existed.
5. Use the Classic “I’m Just Focusing on My Career” Move
This one’s a staple in celebrity interviews, but it works in real life too. “Dating? Oh, I don’t have time for that. I’m too busy training for the next season of Survivor and perfecting my sourdough starter.” Nobody can argue with a packed (and entirely made-up) schedule.
At the end of the day, the best way to handle dating rumors is to have fun with them. Take a page out of Pedro Pascal’s playbook—keep it light, keep it funny, and if all else fails, just casually agree to the rumor and watch the chaos unfold.
