Penis Storm
Whatever you do, do not let yourself end up in Chihuahua, Mexico this weekend. You can not imagine the throbbing storm that is promising to blow a huge load rainstorm all over your face car.
News
Topless Hair Cuts Debut in Australia
Have you ever noticed when you get your hair cut that the lady (or dude, I guess) who’s cutting your hair has their boobs all up in your face half the time? And sometimes you’re like, am I supposed to be avoiding staring at your lady bits when they are literally inches from my face? […]
Crocodile on Plane Kills 19 Passengers
Reason #429,301 not to leave the house: a f*cking CROCODILE might get on the plane and murder you all. So, it turns out the hilariously terrible Samuel L Jackson flick, Snakes on a Plane, was actually a CAUTIONARY tale, because apparently reptiles have absolutely no problem boarding and then wreaking havoc on airborne transports. According […]
Best News Headline FAIL Ever
Someone’s getting fired today.
The Rent is 2 Damn High Party
There are a lot of interesting gubernatorial candidates up for election this November. Mostly on the east coast (the West is less interesting, more corrupt. BORING). You’ve got the masturbation hating witch, Christine O’Donnell, the “gays all wear Speedos and fondle each other” Carl Palladino, and now, the most genius one yet, a Mr. Jimmy […]
Idiot Museum Robber in Chewbacca Suit Gets Caught
According to an Oregon news center, a man in a military ‘ghillie’ suit who planned on robbing a Hillsboro museum was caught yesterday when he was bitten by an officer’s dog while hiding in a wooded area nearby. Officers say they were responding to the tripped alarm at the museum, and as they searched for […]
Rescued Chilean Miner Greets Mistress First
Reason #8,720 to not get married: it doesn’t matter many hours you spend in a nightly prayer circle asking God to save your beloved coal miner husband whose been stuck a million feet underground for over two months because you love him with all your heart, if you ain’t passing out enough BJs he’s totally […]
Exposure to Light At Night Makes You Fat
It’s the last couple weeks before Halloween and lots of Americans are starting the slim down process for what is generally considered in this great nation to be the Holiday of Unadulterated Exposed Flesh. All standards of public decency go out the window and no one is allowed to judge you for looking like you’re […]
Apparently Women are Dumber than Men.
OkCupid has a great blog that consistently creates engaging statistic-based posts, analyzing online dating trends and profile performance, as well as sharing general info about the current state of the masses (i.e. their user base). The statistics are usually funny, interesting, and sometimes shocking. This one, on the other hand, is just embarrassing. According to […]
Students Fined $86,000 For a Kegger
Ah yes, college keggers. Nothing says “I’m working to further my education so as to become a productive member of society” than 250 people chugging cheap beer, watching chicks making out in a corner, and waking up in your own urine. Sarcastic as that may be, let’s be honest — we’ve all done […]