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Dating & Sex

Don’t ‘Gopher’ People on Dating Apps

BCU June 16, 2023

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Alright, add it to the list:

  • Ghosting
  • Pocketing
  • Winter coating
  • Zombie-ing
  • Roaching
  • Breadcrumbing
  • Therapy-baiting
  • Dopple-banging
  • Groundhogging
  • and now…
  • GOPHERING. Via YahooNews,

Basically, gophering is the precept whereby after you match with someone on a dating app—and put time and effort into making (days, or sometimes weeks of) small talk—the potential suitor jumps ship at the prospect of taking things IRL. The person sucks up your witty banter and flirtatious one-liners, much like Punxsutawney Phil soaking up the sun, only to disappear at the first sign of contact. 

This is for sure one of our pet peeves in online dating. The point of the online dating platform isn’t to just chat forever – that’s what chat rooms are for. If you’re on an online dating site, though, the end game should be to meet in person – so if you gopher people, you are a part of the problem!

Not quite ready to make in person connections? Fine – but you should make that clear up front. Don’t lead people on, then disappear. That just ain’t right.

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