Assuming that you’re not a NWO-fearing cabin dweller, you’ve probably heard of the drink Four Loko. But if you haven’t, let me give you the run down: Four Loko is a caffeine infused alcoholic beverage, said to have the strength of three cups of coffee and three beers, all in one 23.5 ounce, $2.50 can, making it just about the cheapest way to get a strong, alert buzz. Beyond that, it’s one of the most hotly-debated products on the market today, and several states are working to take the product off the shelves. Specifically, people who look like this:

They really chose a relevant-looking representation, right? Nothing says “in the loop” and “not about to die” like shriveled old people with jowls and pursed-anus mouths. Today, the FDA is set to make a decision on whether or not to ban the drink across the country, along with others like it, like Joose. They say that caffeine and alcohol are a deadly mix, and that kids who drink the energy-booze drinks are more likely to make bad decisions, like driving drunk, when consuming that much caffeine. You know, they’ve got a point there, but does that mean they’re going to ban the mixture of Red Bull and vodkas at bars? Or Jaeger bombs? I highly doubt that, considering those are the highest selling drinks at many clubs and bars.

The company behind Four Loko is now planning on recreating the drink without the guarana, taurine, and caffeine, so as to keep them on the shelves, which means that BARF. No thank you, malted kiwi-strawberry flavored caffeine-free alcoholic beverage. No thank you.

*Note: Do you think those five Boring McDullsteins up there realize that at this very moment everyone is stocking up on Four Loko like there’s about to be a caffeine apocalypse? If anything, Four Loko should be thanking this lawsuit. Their sales must be through the ROOF!

[Gawker, WTSP]