No pets, no painting, no smoking, no… sex?! That’s right – according to VICE, there are landlords out there enforcing “no sex” clauses in their tenants’ leases!

Via VICE:

Chris, 24, rents an attic room in London and shares a communal space with two other flatmates, siblings, who are also his live-in landlords. “Their parents frequently visit,” he says, “and about four months into living here, their mum overheard me having sex with my girlfriend and complained about it to them.” His flatmates later slipped a note under his bedroom door, asking him to not have sex in the house, or host any overnight guests in general. “I confronted them in our shared kitchen and they kind of went ape shit, telling me it’s ‘wrong’ to have sex because it’s ‘their house’, which I think says everything. Landlords don’t look at tenants or lodgers like they actually deserve to be there.”

Chris looked up his tenancy agreement straight away, assuming he’d be able to argue his way out of it, but it turned out it was in there all along. “They’d actually banned overnight guests,” he says. “They didn’t seem to have a problem with my girlfriend staying over until it was about sex, though.” Chris is now adhering to these bizarre anti-sex rules as he doesn’t have anywhere else to live.

This is a serious WTF in our book. Protip: moving into a new place? Scan that leasing document and make sure there’s no creepy rules in there before you sign on the dotted line.