Have you noticed that those Halloween Superstores always go in and take over bankrupt department stores right around late August? Like there is a shut down Mervyn’s over here that is suddenly full of cheap plastic wigs and skanky polyester nurse costumes, and no one has noticed the metaphorical creepiness of having a fear-based holiday […]
Assuming you don’t live in a wifi-less cave somewhere, you’re probably aware that football, the almighty sport of American-icity, the most joyous time of year and the most impeccable display of manhood and athleticism that exists in our fine nation, is almost here. And that means: fantasy football draft parties. And in this time of […]
Just when you thought that morning newscasts couldn’t possibly become less watchable… when you thought that there was nothing in the world more embarrassing than a watching the forced, awkward jokes of 75 year old weathermen with Botoxed earlobes, a gem like this comes around and reminds you that in the entertainment world, morning news […]
A few weeks ago we did a piece on the ancient Kama Sutra texts, which provided many sexual positions that are still widely er… celebrated… today. I realized that it seems like there hasn’t been a decent sex book released in like, thousands of years. And then BOOM, out come two new hilarious “informational” books […]
While I applaud the scientists at UC Berkeley for their thousands of man hours put into furthering the public’s knowledge of robotics, and am very impressed that they were able to make a machine capable of feeling textures, matching colors and pairing things, I’m pretty sure the phrase isn’t “‘Menial chore you can do naked […]
BCU is a glass-half-full type of group. We like to think positive and have fun and enjoy the little things. However, sometimes life just sucks balls and nothing seems to go your way, and you just wanna talk about the bad things in life. So on this mind-numbingly hot Tuesday in August, we bring you […]
Uh oh. The US unemployment rate is about to take another dip, guys, because the “Tiger Woods Peen-Sucker and Tabloid Fodder” committee, which has for the past 6 years employed 80 to 90% of the country’s ho-hos is gonna have lay off all its employees. That’s right, girls*, you’ll have to find another […]
Discovery Channel’s show “Strange Sex” is one of those shows that you don’t want to to watch, and have no intention of watching, until you’re flipping through the digital cable menu and there it is, nestled in between QVC’s Ode to Sequins and a Two and a Half Men marathon. And since you already have […]
So everyone, how was your weekend? Did you go to the drive-in or get a sweet in-pool beer pong table? Did you have delicious fish tacos accompanied by frosty cold beer or margaritas or grain alcohol? Did you see some friends from out of town or visit with your fam- OKAY OKAY I DON’T […]
Welcome back to this week’s edition of The Three Things You Have to Do This Weekend. This week: Super F—ing Hot Outside edition. Expect your activities to be a feeble attempt at forgetting that we’re all currently living inside my mother’s rice cooker. 1) Pool-Pong Assuming you don’t live in my labor camp of an […]
