I have come to the conclusion after twenty-something years on this earth that penises are about as varied as jelly beans (jelly beans? What? Where did that come from? I am leaving that there just to shame myself). It doesn’t matter if the person has big feet or is really tall or very short or really skinny or kind of chunky but he looked hot at first I swear, penises are just gonna do their own thing.

However, according to a Korean study lead by urologist Dr. Tae Beom Kim, penis size may be related to the length of the index and ring finger. His team measured a set of 144 men’s penises and fingers while under anesthesia and compared them (sidenote: can you say CREEPY?), and his results may have shown a trend:

One member of the team carefully measured the lengths of the index and ring fingers on the subject’s right hand before surgery — left hands are thought to be more variable. A second team member then measured penis length immediately after the subject had been anesthetized. The length was measured both when the penis was flaccid and when it had been stretched as much as possible. Stretched length is thought to correlate to erect length, the team wrote. The team found that, in general, the lower the ratio of the lengths of the two fingers, the longer the stretched length of the penis.

Horrifically creepy testing methods aside, they may be on to something. Ladies, we might have to start greeting and judging dudes with some cheesy palm-reading pick up line. “I see you have a very long life line and it looks here like OKAY NEVERMIND BYE.”

Via Gawker