You’ve heard of catfishing, right? Fake profiles, stolen pics, those classic red flags. Well now meet the next weird up-level: chatfishing — when someone uses ChatGPT (or another AI) to write their dating app messages, replies, DMs — basically letting a bot flirt for them. The Guardian calls it “how ‘Chatfishing’ made finding love on dating apps even weirder.”

This isn’t just theoretical. Real people have shared how their “deep conversations” with matches felt electric… until they met face-to-face, and the magic fizzled. The tone, wit, emotional depth? All polished by AI — not by a human actually feeling anything. 

Plus: there are more nefarious uses, too. Scammers are deploying AI-powered profiles (like LoveGPT) to scale catfishing, create believable conversations, and trick people emotionally.

So yeah — chatfishing is real, it’s happening, and it’s messing with trust.

Let’s break down why it’s a bad idea — and how to avoid being on either side (bot-flirter or bot-flirtee).

Why You Should Never Let AI Write Your “Dating Self”

Here’s where honesty gets real:

1. You lose authenticity (and connection)

When a bot writes your messages, your voice vanishes. The charm, the quirks, the things that make you you — those get smoothed out or obliterated. When you meet in person, that “you” is missing. That mismatch? Painful.

One person described their date as “flat” in person, unlike the electric chat they’d had — because the online “version” was AI-enhanced. The Guardian

2. It sets you up for embarrassment or being “caught”

If you’ve never actually said the things you claim to, or can’t replicate your own phrasing in real time, you’re going to trip. One person even pasted a bot prompt (“Do you want me to punch this up?”) directly into a chat — yikes, bot slip-up. The Guardian

3. It’s manipulative and unfair

You’re allowing someone to fall for a “you” that isn’t real. That feels shady. At its core, it’s emotional deception. Relationships (even early ones) are founded on trust. This is the opposite.

4. It stunts your growth

The more you outsource your words, the less practice you get. The flirty banter, the repartee, the “thinking on your feet” — you lose those muscles. Which are exactly what you need in real person-to-person romance.

How to Protect Yourself When Chatfishing Is on the Rise

If chatfishing is creeping into the dating world, you’ll want to be alert. Here’s your no-nonsense toolkit:

• Watch for overly polished language
  If someone’s replies always seem too perfect, poetic, emotionally precise — suspicious. People stumble, mis-type, get awkward. Bots don’t.

• Notice lag times or instant replies
  If every message arrives immediately, with no pauses, it might be AI running the show.

• Push for a voice or video call
  A real conversation (with voice inflection, hesitation, laughter) reveals a lot.

• Check for consistency in tone
  If their tone swings wildly (robotic to poetic to bland), something’s off.

• Don’t let the chat stay in-app forever
  If they avoid giving you their phone number or insist it must stay in-app, that’s a red flag.

• Move toward in-person
  Ultimately, chemistry lives in three dimensions. Apps are just introductions.

What You Should Do (Don’t Be the Bot-Flirter)

Alright, let’s be kind but real:

• Use AI (if you must) as a brainstorming tool, not your voice. Let it help you start, not to replace you.

• Rewrite whatever the AI gives you — make sure it actually sounds like you.

• If you feel tempted to lean on it heavily, ask: Am I afraid of not being good enough on my own? Address that first.

• Prioritize connection over polish. Awkward, imperfect messages are human. They show vulnerability.

• Set a goal: move to phone call or in-person within a few messages (if it’s going well). Don’t linger in text land forever.

Why You Shift to Voice / In-Person ASAP

• You see real reactions — laughter, tone, pauses, chemistry.

• You can gauge emotional authenticity — how someone responds to surprise, silence, physical presence.

• You dodge the “AI trap” — you can’t run your flirt game through a bot at a live date.

• It weeds out people who only want safe texting vibes — if they bail when voice comes up, their intentions might be weak.

Look — dating in the AI era is wild. Chatfishing is the shiny new hazard we didn’t sign up for. But you don’t have to go it alone.

OBC is your safe place to build confidence in your own voice, ditch the scripts (bot or human), and learn how to show up—authentically, awkwardly, brilliantly. We’ll help you own your presence in text, voice, and in person.

Ready to stop outsourcing who you are—especially in romance—and start showing up as you? Join OBC now.

Let’s keep the magic messy, the connection real, and the words yours.