Every single person thinks their city is the absolute worst for dating.
Ask anyone. “Oh, you think dating in L.A. is bad? Try New York.”
“New York? Honey, come to Austin.”
And on it goes, like a sad little game of romantic one-upmanship.

A new New York Times piece digs into this exact phenomenon — how singles everywhere are convinced their city is a dating wasteland. But here’s the kicker: it’s not just the city. It’s our brains. Apparently, we’re hardwired to believe our personal dating scene is uniquely terrible.

Blame Your Brain, Not Your Zip Code

Think about it. You experience every ghost, every last-minute cancelation, every “he seemed normal until he said crypto is a personality.” You live your local dating drama.
Meanwhile, when you hear about other cities, you see filtered success stories — hot couples kissing in Nashville, friends who met “by accident” in Chicago. You’re comparing your unfiltered reality to someone else’s highlight reel. No wonder your city feels like the problem.

Psychologists call this a negativity bias — we focus on what goes wrong close to home, and idealize what’s far away. So even if your city ranks high in those “Best Places to Date” lists (hi, WalletHub), it can still feel like a wasteland from where you’re sitting.

The Real Dating Problems Aren’t on a Map

That said, the NYT piece also points out some real reasons local dating can feel like pulling teeth:

• No third places. Where are we supposed to meet people if every bar is loud, every café is full of laptops, and nobody talks to strangers anymore?

• Sprawl. You match with someone “nearby” who lives 45 minutes away in traffic. Instant buzzkill.

• Swipe burnout. Too many choices, not enough chemistry. You start wondering if anyone in your ZIP code actually wants a date that doesn’t involve “chilling” and a couch.

• Cultural bubbles. Some cities are just… a little cliquey. Looking at you, anywhere with a “scene.”

So yeah, the frustration is real. But the “my city is cursed” energy? That’s mostly mental gymnastics.

How to Flip the Script

If you’re tired of saying “everyone here sucks,” maybe it’s time to tweak the strategy instead of the geography.

1. Stop doom-scrolling dating apps.
You’re not going to find true love between an ad for meal kits and a guy holding a fish.

2. Make the first move — IRL.
Join events, say hi, flirt at your favorite coffee shop. You don’t need to move cities; you just need to move a little bolder.

3. Expand your radius.
You don’t have to pack up for another city, but maybe check out a new neighborhood, a new crowd, a new platform.

If you’re convinced your city’s dating scene is doomed, maybe it’s time to stop waiting for it to magically improve — and start meeting people who actually want to connect.

On OBC,  For less than the price of two drinks, you can browse local singles who are over the small talk, the ghosting, and the endless swiping.

So before you blame your city, ask yourself: maybe it’s not the place — maybe it’s just the app.

Join OBC today, where for less than the price of two drinks you can start meeting people who want to match, chat, and actually show up. Because the only thing worse than thinking your city is the problem… is not doing anything about it.