A recent New York Times opinion article argued that dating apps are a lousy substitute for “real romance,” and that the swipe-culture can leave people cynical, exhausted, and ultimately disappointed. There’s no denying that the cast of characters and the speed of interaction on apps can feel transactional at times. But here’s the thing: dating in 2025 is happening on apps, and it’s absolutely possible to find something real, something fun, and something meaningful without setting yourself up for burnout.

First: expectations matter. If you jump into a dating site assuming everyone’s looking for “the one” right away, or treating every match like a potential soulmate, you’re probably going to get frustrated. But if you treat it casually — as a low-pressure, high-potential way to meet people who are already out there looking — the dynamic changes. Suddenly, a few messages, a casual drink or coffee meet-up, or even just a flirty back-and-forth can feel liberating instead of draining.

Second: dating apps give you access to people you simply wouldn’t meet in your daily life. You control the speed, pacing, and filters. You can signal what you want, and who you want to meet, without relying on luck, mutual friends, or chance encounters. In a fast-moving world, that’s not “less romantic,” it’s efficient, empowered, and exciting! 

Third: because the bar is lowered, in the best possible way, you get to experiment. You can flirt, test out your vibe, and try new versions of yourself — with low-stakes feedback. You can walk away, refine your approach, and go again. OBC is designed for exactly that kind of playful exploration: meet people, flirt, see who bites, and let the chemistry surprise you.

So go ahead and treat your app-time like a weekend night out: don’t put pressure on the outcome, just enjoy the ride. Scroll, swipe, message the people who intrigue you, and don’t overthink whether anything “real” is going to come from it. In fact, when expectations are low and openness is high, that’s when magic tends to happen.

If the NYT article is right about anything, it’s that forced “seriousness” kills spontaneity. OBC isn’t meant to replace “real romance” — it’s meant to jumpstart connection, flirtation, and possibility on your terms. Meet people, lean into your curiosity, and don’t knock the app unless you’ve let yourself use it with zero pressure. You may just surprise yourself!